The Shiki Monthly Kukai


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The Shiki Monthly Kukai

May 2009 Kukai

Dear Haiku Friends,

Here are the results for the May 2009 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was "Berry" and our Free Format subject was "Umbrella".

Congratulations to Tom Painting, winner of our Kigo section and to Gautam Nadkarni, winner of our Free Format section!

The haiku are listed in order of total points received from voters. The numbers reflect the number of voters who gave the haiku either three points, two points, or one point -- followed by the total points for all votes.

Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted.

In the listing below, after each poem the author is listed, and then a three digit code revealing how many 3-point, 2-point, and 1-point points were cast for this poem by the other participating poets.

(214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes.

Voters comments are in italics below the respective poems.

May 2009 Results
Kigo Theme:
Free Format Theme:

First Place — 34 points
raspberry patch
the neighbor boy

tom painting
(3,7,11) = 34 pts

Second Place — 26 points
the taste of the dewdrop
before I bite

Dorota Pyra
(2,4,12) = 26 pts

Third Place — 24 points
touring the farms
the sun sets in a glass
of elderberry wine

Garry Eaton
(4,3,6) = 24 pts

Fourth Place – 23 points
eye to eye
an ant on a blackberry
in my spoon

Barbara Snow
(2,6,5) = 23 pts

Fifth Place — 17 points
two mouths —
just a strawberry

Virginia Popescu
(1,4,6) = 17 pts

Sixth Place — 15 points
midnight sun
a handful
of cloudberries

Jon Espen Vassbotn
(1,2,8) = 15 pts

Seventh Place — 14 points
first green fruit
on the strawberry plant
next week's exam

(1,3,5) = 14 pts

I like the juxtaposition of this one — so very like the wandering of my thoughts! And as the green fruit will probably turn red, the exam will probably lead to success and certification.

This entry marks a beginning and an end, something to look forward to and something to dread. All realized at this moment of seeing the new fruit. In the case of the strawberries, there is a sure reward for enduring the passing time. Let's hope the exam also had a sweet ending.

strawberry festival —
a swarm of bees
circles the garbage can

Laurene Post
(1,3,5) = 14 pts

Eighth Place — 11 points
wasted berries . . .
a nurse unclips dad's photograph
from the wall

Ron Moss
(1,2,4) = 11 pts

wild strawberries
tumbling me headlong
into summer

Ruth Powell
(1,1,6) = 11 pts

Ninth Place — 10 points
red berries
all the lies
they told me

Ella Wagemakers
(0,2,6) = 10 pts

Tenth Place — 9 points
elderberry flowers
bees buzz
my wine

Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black
(1,2,2) = 9 pts

from under the fence
the wild strawberries spread
I butter my toast

Eddie Merkel
(1,2,2) = 9 pts

first strawberries
trying not to remember
the taste of his kiss

(1,1,4) = 9 pts

strawberry —
his pink cheeked face
with freckles

Gautam Nadkarni
(0,2,5) = 9 pts

Eleventh Place — 7 points
blueberry pie
just like mother
never made

Roberta Beary
(1,1,2) = 7 pts

silent forgiveness —
washing the mud off
the ripe strawberry

Elena Naskova
(0,2,3) = 7 pts

Twelfth Place — 6 points
under twig arches
a blueberry in his beak
the bowerbird stalks

Barbara A. Taylor
(1,1,1) = 6 pts

Wild strawberries...
on her visage
after the kiss

Vasile Moldovan
(1,1,1) = 6 pts

a tuft of fur
in the strawberry patch
. . . open gate

Susan Constable
(0,2,2) = 6 pts

frozen promise
last summers sun

Erling Larsen
(0,2,2) = 6 pts

escape artist
the fox stares at the
blackberry brambles

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

Green berries —
she crushes lunch
in the doll's kitchen

Ralf Broker
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

strawberry stains
on our hands
the empty sugar bowl

Mike Montreuil
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

last night storm-
the black berry tree spreads
its mauve carpet

vishnu kapoor
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

a ripe strawberry-
the toddler's lips
just before a kiss

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

barefoot child
strawberries creep
between her toes

Beth Powell
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

waning moon
below the blackberry bush
fine footprints

Lech Szeglowski
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Thirteenth Place — 5 points
Blackberry parfait
So luscious and so tempting;
Antidote to stress!

Tanja Cilia
(1,1,0) = 5 pts

new rose trellis
a scrawny blackberry
peeks through

Brenda Roberts
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

past midnight —
a dishwasher rinses away
strawberry stains

aom (tim)
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

a country road
another rocky field burnt
for blueberries

Bruce Ross
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

strawberry hearts —
the sweet caramel bubbles
in a saucepan

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

family picnic
daughter's first lipstick —
raspberry red

Boris Nazansky
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

bumblebees buzzin'
in the strawberry patch
an empty basket

John Daleiden
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

love memories...
today's strawberries
are tasteless

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Fourteenth Place - 4 points
summer sun, blackberry bush
drinks the coolness
of the mountain stream

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

cranberry bogs
drizzle, then more drizzle —
Cape Cod sunshine

Stephen Rojcewicz
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

heat wave ...
ants in the blackberry bush
welcome the shade

Carol Raisfeld
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

in the back of the freezer
the last bag
of berries

April Serock
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

rising moon
blackberry blossoms brighten
the forest clearing

Jacek M
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the end of the day
a bucketful of blueberries
a thrush serenades

Erik Boye
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the curve
in a shadow —
the red strawberry

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Fifteenth Place — 3 points
birds chirping
the blueberry patch blooming
by my dream cabin

Audrey Downey
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Strawberry harvest,
bounteous gift of summer,
feel taste buds tingle

Jean M. Lewis
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

a sparrow
pecking holes in the ripened fruit
strawberry patch

Sjs (Stevie)
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

in the strawberry patch
in the bluejay's eye

Ben Gieske
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

tropical berries
scent of the Islands
on my cereal

John Healey
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

sun melting the frost:
one red, another still white —
dogrose berry

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

among blackberries
again the morning sun
casts a look

Ioan Marinescu-Puiu
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

strawberries and cream —
another temptation
i cannot resist

natalia kuznetsova
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

bumble berry pie
my teenage son trips
on the kitchen floor

Harvey Jenkins
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

First Place — 27 points
sudden rain —
umbrellas mushroom
on the street

Gautam Nadkarni
(1,6,12) = 27 pts

A very apt verb

Second Place — 25 points
paper parasol
a soft rain
of cherry blossoms

Nancy Nitrio
(1,3,16) = 25 pts

Love it!


Third Place — 16 points
the magic of rain
under one large umbrella
three strangers

gerry bravi
(1,1,11) = 16 pts

lightning —
her grip on his umbrella

Zhanna P. Rader
(0,4,8) = 16 pts

Delightful! Describes the mood very well.

It's so gripping. Haiku renders feeling sans hashing it out. And wordless showing of her coming to grips with her fear (and/or fascination?) just before the bang. The woman also has a good grip of their coming noisy thunder situation. But silence lasts — not sure how long.

Fourth Place - 14 points
cherry tree umbrella petals in her hair

Terry O'Connor
(1,3,5) = 14 pts

a total eclipse
of the beach

Garry Eaton
(0,2,10) = 14 pts

I was a bit slow in getting the joke, here.

Fifth Place — 12 points
sudden cloudburst.
a weeping willow
my umbrella

A. Dharma Bum
(0,2,8) = 12 pts

Any tree might have fit the poet's need for protection, but here is a nice use of the shape of this species of tree to conjure the umbrella. And I love weeping willows anyway.

Sixth Place - 10 points
sudden drizzle —
the divorced couple go
under one umbrella

Rita Odeh
(1,2,3) = 10 pts

through umbrella silk
raindrop trails

Paul Hodder
(1,1,5) = 10 pts

setting sun —
from under the beach umbrella
red feet

John Holt tori inu
(0,4,2) = 10 pts

spring rain
umbrellas drip
in the waiting room

Beth Powell
(0,2,6) = 10 pts

A very good image.

one umbrella
our heart-to-heart
inside the drip line

tom painting
(0,1,8) = 10 pts

Nicely visual implication of intimacy.

Seventh Place - 9 points
after goodbye
her silver umbrella flows
into the night

Jacek M.
(1,3,0) = 9 pts

Not quite flawless perhaps but for me the poetic imagery in lines 2 and 3 make this the 'pick of the litter' this month.

spring drizzle
a profusion of blooms
on her umbrella

Susan Constable
(1,2,2) = 9 pts

Eighth Place - 8 points
spring squall
tulips and umbrella
inside out

Andre Surridge
(1,0,5) = 8 pts

sharing the umbrella
an excuse to hold his arm-
first date

Leslie Montgomery
(0,3,2) = 8 pts

rust stains
on an old umbrella -
family quarrel

Laurene Post
(0,3,2) = 8 pts

May rain —
an old man repairs
an old umbrella

~ Felister Peacock
(0,2,4) = 8 pts

I like the repeat of 'old.' And also the back story suggested here — old as in too poor to get a new one, old as in brought up in times when thrift was taught, old as in there may be no point in buying a new one at his age.

beach umbrella —
just enough shade
for the dogs

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

pouring rain —
the statues in the public garden
without umbrella

Constantin Stroe
(0,1,6) = 8 pts

eulogy ends
our umbrella grows heavy
as the rain begins

Harvey Jenkins
(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Ninth Place - 7 points
rain showers —
a drop on the umbrella makes
a baby smile

~ Mourine Peacock
(1,1,2) = 7 pts

All of the haiku submissions were really good. The most memorable one is the baby laughing at the raindrop reminds me of my son. Congratulations to all the winners.

the black umbrella
tears roll down her face

Sjs (Stevie)
(1,0,4) = 7 pts

for a while
sharing an umbrella
with her shadow

Lech Szeglowski
(0,3,1) = 7 pts

under the umbrella
a shower
of shade

Bill Hudson
(0,1,5) = 7 pts

Tenth Place - 6 points
fresh day —
a discarded umbrella
gleams in the sun

~ Isabelle Prondzynski
(1,0,3) = 6 pts

cloudburst —
no newspaper
for an umbrella

aom (tim)
(0,2,2) = 6 pts

spring training
a pale legged jogger runs
under an umbrella

Audrey Downey
(0,2,2) = 6 pts

Eleventh Place — 5 points
endless rain —
one rainbow umbrella
after another

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

public meeting —
people under umbrellas
in the hot sun

~ Khadija Rajab
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

lost in thought ...
step by step my umbrella
becomes a parasol

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

I like how the passage of time is marked by the wording.

umbrella —
wind from the sea
captures the shadow

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

school bus stop —
all the crayon-colored

Carol Raisfeld
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Twelfth Place — 4 points
tightrope walker
the frail lady's umbrella
proceeds her

Brenda Roberts
(0,2,0) = 4 pts

my umbrella
next to his
in the stand<
- has he noticed?

miriam chaikin
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

sudden showers —
he struggles to open
his old umbrella

Sunil Uniyal
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

London shower
newspapers quickly become
bus stop umbrellas

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

school girls
waving umbrellas —

Max Zontini
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

on the beach
woman with parasol -
the sea in her eyes

Virginia Popescu
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Two young girls whisper
beneath an umbrella to
keep their secrets dry.

Conrad Sienkiewicz
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Thirteenth Place - 3 points
thunder blast —
two lovers jealously each another
under the same umbrella

Vasile Moldovan
(1,0,0) = 3 pts

tatty brolly
propped on scarecrow
flapping wings

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

Heavy rain,
broken parasol.
Wet chipmunk

Trevor Camp
(1,0,0) = 3 pts

couple in the rain
their umbrellas
prevent closeness

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

new black umbrella
never opened

Roberta Beary
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

under the umbrella tree
of your embrace

Ben Gieske
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

wicked wind
turning up umbrellas
turning up collars

Jenn McSweeney
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Gracefully formed with the use of alliteration and repetition of line pattern.

an umbrella
blowing in the wind...
spring downpour

Keith A. Simmonds
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

on a coat stand
jacket and umbrella

Dejan Pavlinovic
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Great image. We are left wondering, what happened to the owner/s of the items? How long have the items been left there? I think the key word here is "forgotten".

sun shower
umbrellas fold

h. gene murtha
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

spring rain —
between black umbrellas
a yellow one

Israel Lopez Balan
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

my umbrella lasts
for a hailstone or two —
time to run

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

father and son
walking under one umbrella —
rainy day

~Maxwell George Onsembe
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

my thoughts find shelter
in the bluebellดs

Filip Fairytale
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

General Comments:

To presenters: I can't fault the topics this month, yet strangely contestants seem to have found 'berries' strangely uninspiring.

Free format poems this month were the best ever!

This month produced a wonderful offering of kigo poems! I enjoyed them.

Thank you for participating in the May 2009 Kukai! We will be posting the June Call for Submissions on Monday, June 1st. See you then!

With much appreciation,

The Shiki Kukai Team

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