haikuworld: The Shiki Monthly Kukai (June 2007 Results)








The Shiki Monthly Kukai


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June 2007 Kukai

Dear Haiku Friends,

Here are the results for the June 2007 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was "Father's Day" and our Free Format subject was "Baseball".

Congratulations to Zhanna P. Rader, winner of our Kigo section and to Tom Painting, winner of our Free Format section!

The haiku are listed in order of total points received from voters. The numbers reflect the number of voters who gave the haiku either three points, two points, or one point -- followed by the total points for all votes.

Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted.

In the listing below, after each poem the author is listed, and then a three digit code revealing how many 3-point, 2-point, and 1-point points were cast for this poem by the other participating poets.

(214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes.

June 2007 Results
Kigo Theme:
Father's Day
Free Format Theme:

First Place -- 25 points
Father's Day —
fresh forget-me-nots
on a soldier's grave

Zhanna P. Rader
(4,3,7) = 25 pts

I'm taken back to a father's early loss with this haiku. Lost but still remembered. Expressed so well and succinctly by the choice of flowers on this soldier's grave.

The fresh forget-me-nots suggest handpicked flowers, perhaps by a young person who doesn't have money for a professional wreath...so I found this poem touching because of the memories of my brother's experience in WWII, and my father-in-law's in WWI, reinforced by the nostalgia of the old movies.

Second Place -- 19 points
Father's Day...
a cigar band
on her doll's ponytail

Scott Mason
(1,3,10) = 19 pts

A fresh image, emblematic of the male presence in her life, original and tender.

Third Place -- 15 points
Father's Day
without him . . .

w. f. owen
(1,3,6) = 15 pts

I love the evocation of longing with this simple yet powerful image.

father's day —
teaching him to walk

(1,1,10) = 15 pts

Very touching. Also evokes his own babyhood.

This deals with a different kind of loss, the vitality and independence of a strong parent. I went through this with my mother a few years ago, and I realize that I may be facing a similar scenario in my own not too distant future. It speaks of compassion for the human condition in the natural changing of seasons.

Fourth Place -- 14 points
father's day
my son calls
from another time zone

tom painting
(0,4,6) = 14 pts

Fifth Place -- 13 points
Father's Day visit
he asks the nurse again
who I am

arkady elterman
(1,4,2) = 13 pts

Poignant and very real.

Father's Day
I carve the cedar log
for his smell

 —Jacek M.
(1,3,4) = 13 pts

Sixth Place -- 12 points
after shave
three deep in the cabinet
 —Father's Day

Paul Hodder
(2,2,2) = 12 pts

A subtle and witty comment on gift giving and a great image.

father's day...
new blossoms cover
the knotty pine

(2,2,2) = 12 pts

A beautiful juxtaposition of images within the phrase that allows many readings: young and old, soft and hard, birth and death, faces and hands, small and large, innocence and...

I like this haiku because the image presented is so vivid and fresh in the here and now while conveying a moving on, a new growth, but not at the expense of what came before.

Father's Day —
fresh brewed coffee dribbles
from a lop-sided mug

-- Karen Cesar
(0,4,4) = 12 pts

father's day
my sister's card
has sparkles

Roberta Beary
(0,2,8) = 12 pts

father's day
just your headstone
. . . and the crow

Kathy Lippard Cobb
(0,2,8) = 12 pts

I love the crow image here.

Striking...its literary allusion to the crow, which is a powerful symbol of death in some cultures. A powerful reminder of lost love, for those of us who have read Edgar Allan Poe. My compliments to the poet for achieving a successful haikai poem, with a haiku mood and the crow of myth and folklore.

Seventh Place -- 11 points
twelve hours
in the heat of a steel mill...
father's day

ed markowski
(1,2,4) = 11 pts

Eighth Place -- 10 points
Father's Day —
and still just
the two of us

Barbara Campitelli
(0,2,6) = 10 pts

Frustration? Regret? Resignation? Bitterness? Acceptance? A teaser.

dad's gift . . .
she offers the ladybug
on her finger

Carol Raisfeld
(0,1,8) = 10 pts

Ninth Place -- 9 points
Father's Day
a large kite and a small kite
dance on the wind

Meredith Stern Cavalieri
(1,2,2) = 9 pts

father's day —
the infant's hand
wraps around his finger

aom (tim)
(1,1,4) = 9 pts

This has all the requirements of good haiku. Above all, it has a haiku 'moment' and fantastic imagery. I simply love the haiku to distraction!

Tenth Place -- 8 points
I Google
his name...
Father's Day

Josh Wikoff
(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Old longings take ever new forms.

Fatherís Day —
scent of tobacco clings
to his empty pouch.

lyn true
(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Fatherís Day —
he asks to drive by
the old house

tish davis
(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Eleventh Place -- 7 points
Father's Day —
my youngest son calls me
by my first name

Collin Barber
(0,1,5) = 7 pts

first Fatherís Day
the little finger
in the tiny fist

(0,0,7) = 7 pts

Fatherís day
old dog thumps his tail
by the phone

Ruth Powell
((0,0,7) = 7 pts

A wonderful, domestic moment of anticipation/recognition.

Twelfth Place -- 6 points
Fatherís Day —
another foggy afternoon
at the nursing home

Nancy Nitrio
(1,0,3) = 6 pts

Nice wordplay on the weather versus the father's mental state.

father's day
we order the meal
with less salt

Kala Ramesh
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

A homely detail, but a telling one.

fathers day —
no longer a son
no longer a father

Michael Flack
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Poignant. this time last year that my ex-husband, the father of my children, died. He was buried in the same cemetery where his own father rests, beside our son, who died at the age of four.

fatherís day —
his shadow walks
next to mine

Neil Muscott
(0,0,6) = 6 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 5 points
smoke gets in my eyes
our Father's Day barbecue
without him again

Garry Gay
(1,1,0) = 5 pts

A powerful haiku about someone remembering but not wanting to show their emotion. It lingers with you.

Dad is still teaching
long after retirement
by the way he lives

Deirdre Godwin
(1,1,0) = 5 pts

first June together
they hand me a Fatherís Day card
weíve started to bond

Harvey Jenkins
(1,0,2) = 5 pts

A feeling we can all celebrate.

Father's Day —
he blows
the last candle

Raquel D. BAILEY
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

Father's Day —
the perfect wind
to fly a kite

Ana Cadarin
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

my regrets
and his
Father's Day

Autumn Moon
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

father's day
to half a biscuit
all alone

Reza Aerabi
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Father's Day —
he asks us
what's the occasion

Dorota Pyra
(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Father's day
the empty chair
at the table

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Fourteenth Place -- 4 points
Father's Day
just two peas
in the pod

Carolyn Hall
(1,0,1) = 4 pts

Father's Day —
in the receiver my own voice
25 years younger

Gosia Zamorska
(1,0,1) = 4 pts

Father's day present —
a little "grand"
before, Dad!

Tanya Dikova
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

keeping the curfew
in another land....
"Fathers Day"

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 4 points
Fatherís Day —
a walk in the orchard
with young apple trees

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

digging into
a drawer full of memories
Fatherís Day

Paul R
(1,0,1) = 4 pts

modern fatherís day
young girl makes cards
for both daddies

Elizabeth Fanto
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

his face suddenly wet
during babyís diaper change
happy fatherís day

Mary Davila
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Fatherís Day breakfast
his wife grins his kids giggle
gummy worm pancakes

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

after he left,
a distant ice cream truck —
Father's Day

Dan Schwerin
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

first rain —
making his dad a paper boat
for Father's' Day

angelee deodhar
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Father's Day
more roses on
Mom's grave

-- LGD
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 3 points
Father's Day
this year no card
only tears

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

just forty-one -
and wanting a son
with YOU the father...

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

sausage for breakfast
just like he made it
Father's Day

Pris Campbell
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Father's Day
our bare heads brush
in passing

George Hawkins
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Fathers Day
came and went
summer rain covers gently.

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Father's Day
an annual visit
to the graveyard

Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

he tests the milk
still too warm-
first Father's Day

Leslie Montgomery
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

wearing work boots,
he watches her leap onstageó-
Fatherís Day

Sherry Weaver Smith
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Fatherís Day
the boy asks for a longer
fishing rod

Petar Tchouhov
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Father's Day beer —
salt crystals sinking
the way his did

Barbara Snow
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

father's day —
the house where I grew up
now is a bar

il. balan
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

nothing but calls
from cell phones
Father's Day

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

my first father's day —
me kissing
my wife's belly

Lech Szeglowski
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

her two moms
exchange glances :
the Father's Day talk

-- andrea
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

A couple of the entries were like this, a very modern take on the kukai theme, but, in my opinion, the construction of this one is superior.

Father's day —
in a paper wrapping
a pregnancy test

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

That's one way to break it to him gently.

Kigo Section General Comments:
Occasional verse isn't easy, as many a poet laureate has discovered. The best of these, for me, spoke at once of continuity and change: Father's Day comes every year, but each year finds us in a new place.

First Place -- 33 pts
the sweeping arch
of the pitcher's curve
summer solstice

tom painting
(2,10,7) = 33 pts

'as above, so below'

Second Place -- 29 pts
home run ~
my two year old cheers
the wrong team

Paul Hodder
(2,4,15) = 29 pts

This haiku illustrates how young children become captured by emotion, but they don't always know why.

Ha ha! I love this one!

Third Place -- 18 pts
the Yankees lost —
his hesitation
to answer the phone

Audrey Downey
(1,6,3) = 18 pts

My father was a bear on Monday if the Yankees lost.

Fourth Place -- 17 pts
night game
the manager's wife tells me
she is a poet

Johnye Strickland
(1,5,4) = 17 pts

Fifth Place -- 16 pts
flashlights ...
trading baseball cards
with my brother

Carol Raisfeld
(1,2,9) = 16 pts

I can tangibly experience the joy of having a brother, even though I don't have one. It is such a great and fleeting moment from childhood. Somehow for me the use of flashlights adds to that fleeting feeling. I like the way that the two parts of the haiku are so connected.

Indian summer
a squirrel runs from third
to second

Scott Mason
(1,1,11) = 16 pts

All the squirrels I've seen on the field have had trouble with the rules.

A perfect Indian Summer poem. The season's over, the word doesn't appear, but it says "baseball."

Sixth Place -- 15 pts
12th inning homer —
i lift the book
off my father's chest

aom (tim)
(1,3,6) = 15 pts

The image of my grandfather so strongly evoked. He never missed a radio broadcast of the games, he also never stayed awake all the way through one.

t-ball practice
a first grader
spits on the ground

Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,4,7) = 15 pts

Seventh Place -- 14 pts
foul ball —
losing it in a sky
full of hands

Collin Barber
(3,1,3) = 14 pts

The surrealism of the commonplace.

Eighth Place -- 13 pts
After the game
Mom washes away
his slide into home

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

Ninth Place -- 12 pts
ninth inning rally...
the jiggling lid
of a boiling kettle

(1,2,5) = 12 pts

Tenth Place -- 11 pts
the ball field lights
left on overnight —
autumn rain

Cherie Hunter Day
(0,4,3) = 11 pts

Eleventh Place -- 10 pts
pigeons assess
the grandstand trash

Barbara Snow
(1,1,5) = 10 pts

Home Run!
The cat also jumps
into the air

Linda Marucci
(0,3,4) = 10 pts

Love the visual.

Twelfth Place -- 9 pts
night at the ballpark
the batter aims
for the stars

arkady elterman
(1,1,4) = 9 pts

A gorgeous image!

5th inning —
after a home run
the full moon

Israel Lůpez Balan
(0,3,3) = 9 pts

late night radio
through the static
a surprise homerun

Neil Muscott
(0,0,9) = 9 pts

Before cable TV I used to spend many summer nights trying to listen through the static to games outside my normal radio range. This brought back happy memories.

Thirteenth Place -- 8 pts
box seats...
his hero flips the ball
to the girl beside him

ed markowski
(0,3,2) = 8 pts

no game this weekend
above Yankee stadium
the sky full of stars

Inga D.
(0,3,2) = 8 pts

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
the cheerleaders
compare their suntan —
losing team

AngŤle Lux
(1,0,3) = 6 pts

spring training —
warm oil rubbed
in the rookie's glove

 —Karen Cesar
(0,2,2) = 6 pts

pop fly . . .
a feather drifts into
the catcherís mitt

Nancy Smith
(0,2,2) = 6 pts

kids' diamond —
a dog runs home
with the ball

Susan Constable
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts

Josh W.
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

baseball diamond
mound of new earth
by the gopher's hole

Marianna Monaco
(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
how I hated it
public humiliation
playing out —outfield

Deirdre Godwin
(1,0,1) = 4 pts

pre-game warm-up —
seagulls shag flies
in the outfield

Mike Montreuil
(0,2,0) = 4 pts

Children on the field
one child is left behind
not the chosen one

Angelika Kolompar Bygott
(0,2,0) = 4 pts

Grand slam...
the smell of hot dogs
and beer

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

sudden thunder
a nail through the neck
of the baseball bat

w. f. owen
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

chirping crickets
sharp crack of a bat —
twilight baseball

Leslie Montgomery
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the right fielder
chews a dandelion stem,
spits it out

P. O. Williams
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

evening star
a long fly ball
in the bottom of the ninth

Beth Powell
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

line drive
the baseball destroys
an anthill

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the safety pin breaks
from the boyís baseball pants
"youíre out"

Mary Davila
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

after the wave
no one knows how
he got to first

Bill Kenney
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
Golden Retriever
with a tattered baseball
in his mouth

Garry Gay
(1,0,0) = 3 pts

with nine brothers
and only two sets of gloves
baseball game would begin

Harvey Jenkins
(1,0,0) = 3 pts

can you hear that sound?
the crowd's roar in the ballpark
where there's only wind

--Michael McClintock
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Matsuyama museum
Shiki's baseball bat
worn at the edges

angelee deodhar
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

career day:
3 strikeouts, 2 errors
1 seat on the bench

-- LGD
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

child lying
under a tree's shade  —
baseball cap in hand

~ Walter Otieno
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

baseball cap
for my brother —
birthday present

~ Joseph Mutavi
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

top of the ninth
a cottonwood seed rises
out of play

Dan Schwerin
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

extra inning
a pesky fly
distracts the batter

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Free Format Section General Comments:
These topics were quite a challenge. Thanks.

Although my overall preference is for the poems that convey a sense of the game itself, only one of my choices fits that description--and that one just barely, since it's set in the stands, not on the field. Oh, well, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

I never realized how fond I was of baseball until I read these entries!

Very hard to write and to vote, for someone from a non baseball playing country!

That concludes June's kukai and thank you all for your participation and support!

We now realize that baseball was challenging subject because a large number of participants live in countries where baseball isn't played at all! Go ahead and laugh, it never entered our minds. We'll keep that in mind for future kukai the next of which is due to begin on July 2nd, just days away. Looking forward to receiving your entries!

With much appreciation,

Robert and Jennie, co-secretaries
Gary Warner, web host

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