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The Shiki Monthly Kukai

June 2009 Kukai

Here are the results for the June 2009 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was "Graduation" and our Free Format subject was "Wood".

Congratulations to Tom Painting, winner of our Kigo section and to Beth Powell, winner of our Free Format section!

Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted.

(214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes.

Voters comments are in italics below the respective poems.

June 2009 Results
Kigo Theme: Graduation	Free Format Theme: Wood
First Place — Thirty-four Points graduation day her mother and I test our civility tom painting (3,7,11) = 34 pts The interconnected different aspects of life are merged in the common events of everyday life; graduating from school and commencing on new life relationships. Two wonderful occasion merged. Second Place — Twenty Points graduation cheer a flock of starlings takes the sky Terry O'Connor (1,2,13) = 20 pts I like the implied image of the students taking flight, en masse, as well as the starlings. Nice play on 'starlings', too. Third Place — Nineteen Points graduation day dandelion seeds on the wind frederick c gier (0,4,11) = 19 pts Like the dandelions, the graduates will undoubtedly travel far from their common starting point. Of course, we'll hope that they bring more joy and value to the world than dandelions do! Fourth Place—Seventeen Points graduation day— their daughter's name mispronounced Bill Kenney (0,4,9) = 17 pts Fifth Place—Fifteen Points graduation day dogs present handlers for diplomas Rose Marie Stutts (1,5,2) = 15 pts graduation day mom and stepmom sitting side by side Renee Owen (1,2,8) = 15 pts Sixth Place—Fourteen Points graduation— spiked heels sinking into the grass Penny Harter (1,2,7) = 14 pts A picture that speaks to almost all my senses — a clear favourite of mine here! This haiku shows keen observation. Talk about being brought down to earth! graduation photo half a century later her eyes unchanged Meredith Cavalieri (0,5,4) = 14 pts Seventh Place—Thirteen Points graduation day... dogs of various sizes sit and stay Elinor Pihl Huggett (0,3,7) = 13 pts Eighth Place—Eleven Points a newborn asleep at the breast— graduation day Ron Moss (0,3,5) = 11 pts fallen birch leaves in the graduation photo we all look the same Beverley George (0,2,7) = 11 pts L2 provides a natural pivot and the last line is amusing, yet carries the ring of truth. Ninth Place—Ten Points country school bleachers the scent of alfalfa at graduation soji (0,4,2) = 10 pts Tenth Place—Nine Points at graduation all the flowers in full bloom Ben Gieske (1,0,6) = 9 pts Eleventh Place—Eight Points caterpillar taking its graduation— high-grade butterfly Virginia Popescu (2,0,2) = 8 pts graduation remembering her first steps magna cum laude Horst Ludwig (0,4,0) = 8 pts Twelfth Place—Seven Points graduation the spaghetti strap slips off her shoulder Beth Powell (1,2,0) = 7 pts I remember how the spaghetti strap slipped off her shoulder, not quite a half-century ago. One of those moments that are absolutely trivial, unless you happen to be the one involved. There is nothing unkind in the humor here. graduation day wild roses ablossom Alan S. Bridges (1,1,2) = 7 pts graduation . . . the speaker's wisdom blown away Bill Pauly (0,3,1) = 7 pts Graduation— students and their tassels seeking direction Shelley Krause (0,2,3) = 7 pts Pick of the litter. graduation day the valedictorian's ragged running shoes ed markowski (0,1,5) = 7 pts Graduation Day— mother picks off a dandelion parachute Ralf Broker (0,1,5) = 7 pts baby bird spreads her wings... graduation day A. Dharma Bum (0,1,5) = 7 pts graduation . . . the valedictorian shares her lip gloss Francine Banwarth (0,1,5) = 7 pts The feminine pronoun is, happily, no longer unexpected, but the "lip gloss" is a nice twist. stuck in the revolving doors graduation day Elena Naskova (0,1,5) = 7 pts peonies bloom overnight— graduation Marylouise Knight (0,1,5) = 7 pts Simple, yet effective . . . the graduates blooming as they complete their program. Let's hope their bloom time, however, lasts longer than the peonies'! kindergarten graduation the empty bird's nest above the doorway Sjs Stevie (0,1,5) = 7 pts Thirteenth Place—Six Points Graduation time little bird shows its parents— how well it observed Jenn McSweeney (1,1,1) = 6 pts the transgender boy flips her tassel right to left— graduation morning Bruce H. Feingold (1,1,1) = 6 pts graduation— nothing beneath his gown Lex Joy (1,0,3) = 6 pts graduation day, our daughter somebody else's brown-eyed girl Robert Ertman (0,1,4) = 6 pts This haiku tells readers immediately multiple meanings of graduation—a true commencement is recognized here. The voices of the haiku tell readers that the students, the parents and the future off-spring of the graduating couple are totally involved in on-going and developing relationships. What a positive expression of live is revealed in these powerful images. Great tenderness emanates from the haiku. graduation day :: catalpa blossoms litter the lawn timothy russell (0,1,4) = 6 pts red wings for the caterpillar . . . graduation day Mary Davila (0,1,4) = 6 pts beneath the class clown's graduation robe— purple sneakers Terri L. French (0,0,6) = 6 pts Fourteenth Place—Five Points graduation now the world is school Bill Gottlieb (0,2,1) = 5 pts sleeping after graduation— dreams of cotton in the wind Bhalachandra (0,2,1) = 5 pts graduation – the toast of champagne for a hawker’s son Gautam Nadkarni (0,1,3) = 5 pts A subtle haiku that makes a point, without being preachy. graduation day— flaunting her diamond ring Carolyn Coit Dancy (0,1,3) = 5 pts a peace dove soils the soldier's cap at graduation Barbara A Taylor (0,1,3) = 5 pts graduation day the long awaited peonies making a statement Audrey Downey (0,1,3) = 5 pts graduation day removing the training wheels from her bicycle Tom Genovese (0,1,3) = 5 pts tough graduation the swallow's first flight and the air is full of hats Jon Espen Vassbotn (0,1,3) = 5 pts only eighteen . . . her graduation photo in front of the altar Susan Constable (0,0,5) = 5 pts a degree of mischief in the black squirrel's stare graduation day Jennifer Corpe (0,0,5) = 5 pts Fifteenth Place—Four Points parting messages through the microphone graduation day gillena (0,1,2) = 4 pts last cherry blossom my graduation photo shows a weary smile Harvey Jenkins (0,1,2) = 4 pts fallen mortarboard a cygnet tilts its head at the yellow tassel Nancy Smith (0,1,2) = 4 pts damp eyed through graduation— hay fever andrea (0,0,4) = 4 pts graduation— he adjusts again the sails Nelson (0,0,4) = 4 pts So many images are forward looking—the ideal of graduation and setting sails for a course are wonderfully compatible; this haiku is forward looking and innovative. graduation day— over his gown a Maori wears a feathered cloak Patricia Prime (NZ) (0,0,4) = 4 pts In this haiku two ancient cultures collide—the aboriginal Maori of civilization of New Zealand and the medieval university system of Europe are meshed images; the irony of juxtaposition makes many apt social comparisons. graduation dance the school principal starts a conga line Garry Eaton (0,0,4) = 4 pts Sixteenth Place—Three Points first day of college admiring the caps and gowns the new graduates bre (1,0,0) = 3 pts thinking caps in flight jubilant graduates cheer high expectations Lorraine Marguerite Gasrel Black (1,0,0) = 3 pts mortarboards on the college roof graduation day Andre Surridge (0,1,1) = 3 pts into the future in medieval cap and gown graduation Elaine Riddell (0,1,1) = 3 pts hat toss celebration— a dragonfly caught at a graduation ceremony Daniela Bullas (0,0,3) = 3 pts graduation day... our daughter's scent still in my memory _kala (0,0,3) = 3 pts graduation day – remembering only smiles and tears Tomislav M. (0,0,3) = 3 pts salmon run old schoolmates return for graduation Darrell (0,0,3) = 3 pts An apt juxtaposition. General Comments: I preferred those that found something fresh in the most familiar meaning of "graduation" to those that sought clever ways to avoid it. Once again I don't feel this topic was very evocative. It would have been somewhat better if calling for 'anything suggesting graduation' rather than the exact use of that word. Exact words always make for soporific reading during the voting phase. Once again it was really hard for me to pick them and I wish I could have been able to pick more to win. I went back to studying after 20 years and I’m graduating in two weeks - our winter here in South Africa - so this topic is very apt!	First Place — Twenty-Eight Points boatshop bending the fir to fit the waves Beth Powell (3,4,11) = 28 pts Human industry guided by knowledge of–and, I'd say, reverence for–nature. I'm not the nautical type, but this makes me feel the shape of the boat and the force of the waves. What a lovely way to think about the shape of a hull! Nice alliteration and rhythm, too. Second Place — Twenty-Six Points spring fog only the rhythm of wooden boats knocking together Kate Creighton (1,3,17) = 26 pts hauling firewood— the wheelbarrow and I both wobbly Terri L. French (0,7,12) = 26 pts Wow. There is an intense network of connection between these images; just as the collector of the firewood and the wheelbarrow "wobble" so too does the flame as it burns in various stages. The 3 respective "wobbles" in this haiku vibrate with life giving energy. I like the subtle humour that arises from truth and that brings a smile of recognition. Unfortunately, I can relate almost too easily to this! Third Place — Twenty-One Points short days the old woodcarver goes with the grain tom painting (0,3,15) = 21 pts Would that we all learn to live our lives this way, instead of fighting every little thing that comes along. Lovely on both the literal and metaphorical level. Fourth Place — Twenty Points tracing the knot in the wooden pew ~ Grandad's funeral Paul Hodder (1,4,9) = 20 pts It seems that we often look for distractions in our moments of grief. Well worded, without a hint of sentimentality. Fifth Place — Seventeen Points pregnancy test - a wooden Indian offers cigars Laurene (2,3,5) = 17 pts Sixth Place — Fifteen Points a plain pine box containing a complicated man Sjs (0,3,9) = 15 pts bamboo curtains if only I could roll up my thoughts. . . _kala (0,2,11) = 15 pts Seventh Place — Thirteen Points maple in rain— the sweet curves of the violin Nelson (0,3,7) = 13 pts waiting for news— polishing, again, his walnut desk Bridget Cougar (0,2,9) = 13 pts The depth of reflection in highly polished walnut wood compliments the image of expectations in "waiting for news". The mystery of what kind of news is wonderfully withheld and allows the readers to freely speculate according their own mindsets at the moment of reading. There is a fine open-ended moment of reflection in this well wrought haiku. the old teak bowl has outlasted her marriage — fresh salad greens andrea (0,1,11) = 13 pts I felt that! Very moving! A perfect fusion of pathos and humor, avoiding any trace of cynicism. This leaves a good taste in the spirit. Eighth Place — Eleven Points In a circle— the sound of earth on wood Ralf Broker (1,3,2) = 11 pts under the giant sequoia... the sky further than ever Elena Naskova (0,1,9) = 11 pts Ninth Place — Ten Points from an ancient piece of swamp cedar the sculptor releases a frog Andre Surridge (0,4,2) = 10 pts Interesting play on Michelangelo's statement concerning his sculpture of David, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." Tenth Place — Nine Points midsummer night – fireflies on the growth rings of our garden table Daniela Bullas, UK (0,3,3) = 9 pts alone in the woods I say "i'm sorry" after each fart Jacek M. (0,2,5) = 9 pts Eleventh Place — Eight Points acorns— the tree my father planted Robert Ertman (0,2,4) = 8 pts So understated and profound that I missed it completely on my first time through the list. The line ending on "my" remains a blemish, however. handling chopsticks- I become hungrier and hungrier Barbara Campitelli (0,1,6) = 8 pts Amusing. summer nights the smell of mesquite smoke in her hair frederick c gier (0,1,6) = 8 pts Through the use of scent his haiku evokes memories of campfire gatherings—of sitting in a close knit group, gazing into an intense fire and watching the spirits of the wood freely escape into the atmosphere becoming one with the natural elements; the cyclic rhythms of life forces vibrate through this haiku. Twelfth Place — Seven Points pine smoke— the toasted skin slides off a marshmallow DeVar (0,1,5) = 7 pts Thirteenth Place — Six Points nine sacred woods laying the bonfire on Beltane eve bre (1,0,3) = 6 pts sunset – a dragonfly rests at the dry stick Miorita (1,0,3) = 6 pts moon through the woods the light draws us in Francine Banwarth (0,1,4) = 6 pts chimney swept... a spider carried in with the wood Diane Mayr (0,1,4) = 6 pts Fourteenth Place — Five Points cutting trees with every strike leaves tremble Mariusz O. (1,1,0) = 5 pts reflecting pond the decomposing driftwood ed markowski (1,0,2) = 5 pts wooden corals- on a woman's neck the weight of years Iga (1,0,2) = 5 pts beachcomber he settles on a piece of driftwood Susan Constable (1,0,2) = 5 pts forgetting the name of . . . the Gingko tree Donna Bauerly (0,1,3) = 5 pts Their names faded in the recesses of bark- on the old oak tree Jenn McSweeney (0,1,3) = 5 pts grandfather's oak clock I hear the passage of time in the living-room Harvey Jenkins (0,1,3) = 5 pts the crackle of an applewood fire . . . summer rain Catherine J.S. Lee (0,0,5) = 5 pts Water...fire...and air unite in this powerful haiku, providing a fundamental feeling of well-being, a uniting of elemental forces. Fifteenth Place — Four Points oak, ash, elder, thorn the old ways still have power in mankind's autumn Deirdre Godwin (1,0,1) = 4 pts I enjoy the archetypal elements in this one. the scent of pine whittling the symbols on the dreidel ARW (1,0,1) = 4 pts hot cross buns — a hint of wood texture in the pale cross ~ Isabelle Prondzynski (0,2,0) = 4 pts No decisions yet; Can't see the wood for trees... But I won't give up Tanja Cilia (0,1,2) = 4 pts a maple ablaze over the wooden cross- ten years after... natalia kuznetsova (0,1,2) = 4 pts a splinter from the boardwalk— the heat Bill Kenney (0,1,2) = 4 pts scent of pine a flame robin shivers in the dew Ron Moss (0,1,2) = 4 pts Christmas kiss the smell of pine in her hair Meredith Cavalieri (0,1,2) = 4 pts heart of the woods a red fox scampers over beech leaves Beverley George (0,0,4) = 4 pts Gran's apple pie Dad feels of the sting of a wooden spoon Terry O'Connor (0,0,4) = 4 pts memories— in a rosewood box her mother's ashes John Daleiden (0,0,4) = 4 pts chopping root vegetables— so many old cuts on the board Penny Harter (0,0,4) = 4 pts Sixteenth Place — Three Points Trembling, the old priest sets a carved old plate with bread beside a wine jar Horst Ludwig (0,1,1) = 3 pts aged tobacco and curly briarwood pipe memories of Dad A. Dharma Bum (0,1,1) = 3 pts catching time in autumn leaves without her Barbara A Taylor (0,1,1) = 3 pts sandalwood fan the sweet scent drives away the heat Audrey Downey (0,1,1) = 3 pts fog overtaking footbridge and creek . . . the dripping woods Michael McClintock (0,1,1) = 3 pts the pine watch as spring catches up Bill Gottlieb (0,1,1) = 3 pts coffee mist... the carpenter caresses lightly an ebony coffin Lech Szeglowski (0,1,1) = 3 pts midnight passes wooden stairs sound the alarm Ben Gieske (0,0,3) = 3 pts this cross I carry if only it were of wood Shernaz Wadia (0,0,3) = 3 pts cedar, birch bark, glue the journey begins with building the canoe Edward (0,0,3) = 3 pts blue glint on the telephone pole – a carpenter bee Tomislav M. (0,0,3) = 3 pts first light smoke from the wood stove rising through the trees Elaine Riddell (0,0,3) = 3 pts drilling on the meditation room wall - a woodpecker Bhalachandra (0,0,3) = 3 pts deep massage . . . a lingering aura of sandalwood Ellen Compton (0,0,3) = 3 pts General Comments: I really enjoyed participating in and reading the June Kukai. These are very hard to pick from. I like haiku so much I think I really like everyone’s works .If nothing else everyone should get points for writing these poetic gems just for the sheer enjoyment. A mixed collection, with many different interpretations of the theme. Thanks, this was fun! Very hard to narrow down from 14, initially. The best were so good that I was forced to exclude several that I'd certainly have voted for in many another month. This topic worked far better than the one for Kigo.

Thank you for participating in the June 2009 Kukai! We will be posting the July Call for Submissions on Sunday, July 5th. See you then!

With much appreciation,

The Shiki Kukai Team

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