July 2008 Kukai Dear Haiku Friends, Here are the results for the July 2008 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was "Firefly" and our Free Format theme was "Documents". Congratulations to Miriam Chaikin, winner of our Kigo section and to Melissa Spurr, winner of our Free Format section! The haiku are listed in order of total points received from voters. The numbers reflect the number of voters who gave the haiku either three points, two points, or one point -- followed by the total points for all votes. Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted. In the listing below, after each poem the author is listed, and then a three digit code revealing how many 3-point, 2-point, and 1-point points were cast for this poem by the other participating poets. (214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes. Voters comments are in italics below the respective poems. July 2008 Results Kigo Theme: Firefly Free Format Theme: Documents First Place – Thirty-nine Points firefly - the night finds its way in miriam chaikin (1,11,14) = 39 Pts Simple . . . and so beautiful. Wish I were there. Second Place – Twenty-four Points first firefly the electrician shuts his toolbox ed markowski (1,5,11) = 24 Pts A delightful association between the firefly and the electrician. I like how "first firefly" gives clue to this person's awakening to the season but I snagged on the author's choice of "electrician". I doubt it was intentional but feels deliberate and clever. Third Place – Twenty Points mind empty a firefly fills it Francine Banwarth (1,5,7) = 20 Pts Fourth Place – Seventeen Points firefly my attention span shortens tom painting (1,3,8) = 17 Pts The short attention span vindicated! Mind and firefly are one. Fifth Place – Fifteen Points dusk... through my fingers fireflies Carol Pearce-Worthington (0,5,5) = 15 Pts This is very pleasant, as if in summer time too may be allowed to slip though our fingers, perhaps also the safety in which the relaxation of sleep may come. Sixth Place – Fourteen Points above the fire a lonely firefly follows the spark Jacek M. (1,3,5) = 14 Pts It reads as a sentence so would normally not get my vote, but it's realistic. porch swing — fireflies rise above the oaks Carmen Sterba (0,5,4) = 14 Pts Seventh Place – Thirteen Points tonight only — fireflies and the moon Garry Eaton (1,3,4) = 13 Pts fireflies now and then the memories AD (1,3,4) = 13 Pts A very effective pivot, with a lovely link between the physical and mental. creaking oars the fireflies echo the stars Tore Sverredal (1,2,6) = 13 Pts Got my vote, though would be improved by dropping the first "the". after the funeral ... a lone firefly, blinking quietly blinking Carol Raisfeld (0,4,5) = 13 Pts Eighth Place – Twelve Points fireflies a worn path to the outhouse Carmel Lively Westerman (1,1,7) = 12 Pts This one mixes 'high' and 'low.' Basho would approve. Very funny mix of high and low, and fireflies would be in the damp spot, so quite truthful. so plain in the morning light ~ firefly Paul Hodder (0,4,4) = 12 Pts It's refreshing to read a firefly haiku that shows us the contrast between day and night. Thank you! Perhaps Issa's perspective. Ninth Place – Eleven Points falling stars — the forest fills with fireflies Nancy Smith (0,3,5) = 11 Pts its light showing the edge of one leaf firefly Ella Wagemakers (0,2,7) = 11 Pts Tenth Place – Ten Points fireflies courting — it's an on and off relationship Nancy Nitrio (0,1,8) = 10 Pts Dawn — my firefly turns into a beetle Gosia Zamorska (0,3,4) = 10 Pts Torn between the two with this theme, but they say different things about life, so I vote for both! Eleventh Place – Nine Points firefly jar – her sleeping bag close to her sister's Ruth Powell (1,2,2) = 9 Pts I love the perfection of this captured moment, with neither the sisters nor the fireflies there except by implication. Twelfth Place – Eighth Points tiny sparks of light flit about my dark garden fireflies or fairies? Ignatius (0,3,2) = 8 Pts Thirteenth Place – Seven Points fireflies — someone wrote haiku in their light Horst Ludwig (1,1,2) = 7 Pts firefly at your gravesite — my watch stopped ARW (0,3,1) = 7 Pts firefly hunt -     almost there                             then                                         the light                                         goes out Laurene (0,3,1) = 7 Pts Perfect would perhaps be no 'out' but just "___" one firefly, two — the small lap-lapping as we drift from shore Lin Geary 0,2,3 = 7 Pts helpless laughter... the Ferris wheel dips us into the fireflies jt (0,2,3) = 7 Pts fireflies light my path to the full moon php (0,2,3) = 7 Pts losing then finding that first thought — firefly Joyce Clement (0,1,5) = 7 Pts Fourteenth Place – Six Points a field of fairy tales — the many lights of fireflies bre (1,0,3) = 6 Pts A standout for economy and mindfulness. like this firefly in this dark night... my life Li Ree (0,2,2) = 6 Pts firefly haze in the rearview mirror — the drive back home sanjuktaa (0,2,2) = 6 Pts To me this suggests the glow of a safe childhood, 'home' as sanctuary. starlight reception . . . the ring bearer brings the bride a firefly Bill Pauly (0,1,4) = 6 Pts Fifteenth Place – Five Points spotting a firefly, the tiny ant stops and mulls... what's wrong with the sun? Abhinav Maurya (1,1,0) = 5 Pts the world a jar firefly through my door mechaieh (1,0,2) = 5 Pts I love the way this turns things inside out in so many ways! summer evening — the random flash of fireflies Mary Lee McClure (1,0,2) = 5 Pts the firefly and i wait for the sunset w. f. owen (1,0,2) = 5 Pts starless night i let the firefly guide me Wojciech Wojnar (0,2,1) = 5 Pts the baby asleep — a reflection of fireflies in the water P M F Johnson (0,1,3) = 5 Pts in tall grass we chase the fireflies — seven sisters Bethel (0,1,3) = 5 Pts I'm always charmed to see an astronomy kigo. home village above the deep well a firefly Lech Szeglowski (0,1,3) = 5 Pts Sixteenth Place – Four Points Firefly has gone Silver lining of the cloud Lit up by his soul. Tanja (1,0,1) = 4 Pts Midnight storm; Where did they suddenly go? Fireflies and the moon manoj saranathan (1,0,1) = 4 Pts A contemplative question that sparks many thoughts. firefly on her hand the cold glow of young widow's ring Dorota Pyra (0,2,0) = 4 Pts after the rain... trees filled with fireflies Christmas in July! Rose Marie Stutts (0,1,2) = 4 Pts mother flashes the porch light — in my cupped hands a firefly's tickle aom (tim) (0,1,2) = 4 Pts Fireflies — a smear of phosphorescence on the toddler's palm Linda Papanicolaou (0,1,2) = 4 Pts Firefly — lantern home for nameless dog Kurt R. W. (0,1,2) = 4 Pts wondering about my ancestors — fireflies max verhart (0,1,2) = 4 Pts wheat field — parade of fireflies at dusk Cindy Bene (0,1,2) = 4 Pts wedding march the flower girl chasing fireflies Melissa Spurr (0,0,4) = 4 Pts Something about the magical firefly that lures us away from 'duty'. Seventeenth Place – Three Points the tot mesmerized — fireflies Zhanna P. Rader (1,0,0) = 3 Pts Fourth of July oh, firefly how can you compete? Barbara Campitelli (0,1,1) = 3 Pts The firefly Alights on my sleeve Ignoring me James Sawers (0,1,1) = 3 Pts scent of sandalwood — a firefly adds to the light of incense gillena (0,1,1) = 3 Pts her face beyond the fireflies moving light Jo McInerney (0,1,1) = 3 Pts silent fireflies in her throat a burning taste of loneliness Elena Naskova (0,1,1) = 3 Pts tree house nightlight the small boy sneaks one more firefly into the jar Edward (0,1,1) = 3 Pts children shouting "look, there's one!" — the sound of fireflies Shelley Krause (0,1,1) = 3 Pts Perseids I recall summer fireflies Harvey Jenkins (0,1,1) = 3 Pts In the dog days of summer, to recall early summer nights when the heat was still welcomed and all of summer was ahead...nicely done. holding flashlights they twirl in the darkness — pretend fireflies Leslie Montgomery (0,1,1) = 3 Pts favorite uncle — we trade fireflies for sparklers John Thompson (0,1,1) = 3 Pts restless mind fireflies strobing all over the meadow Earl Keener (0,1,1) = 3 Pts rain drips more slowly from the porch — fireflies reappear April Serock (0,1,1) = 3 Pts sun rose late this day little time to learn so much life of a firefly 1bodhisattva (0,1,1) = 3 Pts sudden blackout — the old neighbourhood full of fireflies Israel Lopez Balan (0,0,3) = 3 Pts power outage :: a firefly's slow progress across the window timothy russell (0,0,3) = 3 Pts broken curfew she tries to blame the fireflies Susan Constable (0,0,3) = 3 Pts hot night the afterglow of a dead firefly Collin Barber (0,0,3) = 3 Pts flash of shoes children hunting for fireflies Jim Applegate (0,0,3) = 3 Pts absent minded — following the flight of the firefly Jon Baldwin (0,0,3) = 3 Pts firefly hunt galaxies in a jar John Stone (0,0,3) = 3 Pts General Comments: This was much more difficult than writing my entries! I ended up creating three lists pruning down my favorites! And I sorely wish I could vote for the ones I left out. Fireflies produced many evocative responses. Good poems. It's something of a surprise that this magical (though traditional) topic seems to have produced relatively few good haiku. I wonder if participants were a bit haunted by the hundreds of years of haiku already written; perhaps such a weight may have inhibited imaginations. First Place – Twenty-seven Points rejection letter folding another paper crane Melissa Spurr (1,6,12) = 27 Pts The "making lemonade" approach to rejection slips. This will appeal to non-violent types. For the rest, see ‘third drink’. The two make a great matched set. A nice image! I love the gentle humor - the making of lemonade from yet another lemon. A very creative use for useless paper! Second Place – Twenty Points on the fridge the to-do list you left me Roberta Beary (2,3,8) = 20 Pts Oh, the glare in that last line's eye! Like the W. C. Williams "Plum" poem, this says so much! This made me think of someone returning home after the funeral of their spouse. birth certificate: the name of the father he never knew Catherine J.S. Lee (1,4,9) = 20 Pts Oh, man, does this ever resonate. This haiku expresses so concisely and perfectly the thoughts a person has when contemplating the importance of a mysterious name on a document so official and so personal. Well done! yard sale — the faded diploma of a country doc Carmen Sterba (0,3,14) = 20 Pts Third Place – Eighteen Points will writing . . . a lawn mower strikes a rock Alice Frampton (2,4,4) = 18 Pts For me, it's naming the executors; for others, something else that brings the writing to a halt. root canal ~ staring at the dentist's graduation certificate Paul Hodder (2,2,8) = 18 Pts divorce papers the envelope surprisingly light Neil Muscott (1,6,3) = 18 Pts Fourth Place – Fourteen Points her medicare card in this morning's mail . . . the girl that I married Bill Kenney (1,2,7) = 14 Pts An arresting mix of melancholy and joy - bittersweet. I am indebted to the author for expanding my understanding of wabi/sabi. So much tenderness and nostalgia is expressed in this haiku. Fifth Place – Thirteen Points chopped onions on a new cutting board divorce papers Deborah P Kolodji (1,2,6) = 13 Pts shotgun wedding the invitation arrives by email Susan Constable (0,4,5) = 13 Pts 'Marry in haste; repent at leisure' ;-? Sixth Place – Twelve Points tucked away with her important papers — my first report card Shelley Krause (1,2,5) = 12 Pts wind change — flood water up to the parking ticket aom (tim) (1,1,7) = 12 Pts Doubly damned, but nature's power is greater than officialdom, wryly amusing. death certificate — that's all I hold in my arms Barbara Campitelli (0,2,8) = 12 Pts A poignant haiku; the unsaid says so much. reading the divorce petition — first raindrops Jacek M. (0,2,8) = 12 Pts out of work the framed diplomas collecting dust ed markowski (0,1,10) = 12 Pts Seventh Place – Eleven Points youthful urgency that love letter you wrote me scrawled on a napkin Conrad Sienkiewicz (3,1,0) = 11 Pts marriage license — we squint to read the fine print John Thompson (1,2,4) = 11 Pts Eighth Place – Ten Points in the parchment of my hands — reading the years Donna Bauerly (1,2,3) = 10 Pts Utterly beautiful in all its silence and acceptance! graduation . . . grandma waves her diploma Carol Raisfeld (0,2,6) = 10 Pts I love the surprise of line 3. The surprise contrast is uplifting. Ninth Place – Nine Points the VD clinic — waiting for blood test results I write valentines Mykel Board (0,3,3) = 9 Pts Not to me, I hope. In other words, a most effective senryu. Tenth Place – Eight Points the long awaited letter           says             no Carol Pearce-Worthington (1,0,5) = 8 Pts tired thoughts my diary and the gray noise of a downpour Ella Wagemakers (0,3,2) = 8 Pts Eleventh Place – Seven Points rainy attic . . . Mother's faded birth certificate Bill Pauly (0,3,1) = 7 Pts third drink— framing the rejection slip with my staple gun Lin Geary (0,1,5) = 7 Pts Gratuitous violence. I love it. But is this the only way to deal with rejection slips? See ‘rejection letter’. morning mail — a letter to my son from traffic court Linda Papanicolaou (0,1,5) = 7 Pts power of attorney :: mother tends the garden in the nude Sjs (0,1,5) = 7 Pts Twelfth Place – Six Points next school report — her pet doll covered by dust Dorota Pyra (1,0,3) = 6 Pts roadside diner on the menu a family history deb koen (0,1,4) = 6 Pts Thirteenth Place – Five Points divorce paper a half of fresh orange in his hand Norsto (1,1,0) = 5 Pts first passport — looking time and again at the photo Horst Ludwig (1,0,2) = 5 Pts a gnat forever at takeoff — the document's clauses page jean cully (1,0,2) = 5 Pts sold with the farm deeds of a lifetime Beth Powell (1,0,2) = 5 Pts again reading his death certificate before I return to nothing Li Ree (0,2,1) = 5 Pts cause of death on the pathology report: God only knows.... Marlθne Buitelaar (0,1,3) = 5 Pts "God only knows" why I like this one but I do. Fourteenth Place – Four Points four hundred years old a monastery Bible I turn the vellum page Rose Marie Stutts (1,0,1) = 4 Pts such a long life and a good one — such a short Will LGD (0,2,0) = 4 Pts Words on a paper Stiletto stabbing a heart; Will and testament. Tanja (0,1,2) = 4 Pts using the Deed as kindling for a campfire after foreclosure gourdman (0,1,2) = 4 Pts prairie drought he stares hard at the horizon divorce papers Edward (0,1,2) = 4 Pts autumn twilight the pauper sits down to write his will Gautam Nadkarni (0,0,4) = 4 Pts This is intriguing; what does the pauper have to will? The juxtaposition feels very right here. the ''to do'' list -- my orderly mind on paper fedelmia (0,0,4) = 4 Pts "on paper" sneaks up on you; quietly effective. A juxtaposition of similarities. Fifteenth Place – Three Points divorce decree child cries on courthouse steps balloon flies free Cindy Bene (1,0,0) = 3 Pts the child stands not knowing which hand to take divorce papers sealed his fate usha (1,0,0) = 3 Pts door closed she hunts for his wallet mechaieh (0,0,3) = 3 Pts Headline — my ex-wife inherits Garry Eaton (0,1,1) = 3 Pts border my passport photo borderline tom painting (0.0,3) = 3 Pts with a kiss I seal an envelope — you touch my red lipstick Daniela Bullas (0,1,1) = 3 Pts forty-eight years now safe in my underwear drawer my PhD Paul O. Williams (0,0,3) = 3 Pts Rolled in a cardboard tube ;-? smiling children receive their certificates — parents' day Beverly Achieng (0,1,1) = 3 Pts forest fires. . . a new lease signed in indelible ink Carole (0,1,1) = 3 Pts pardon me ...the judge hard of hearing Colin Stewart Jones (0,0,3) = 3 Pts The double entendre of L1 is perfect. Thanks for the smile. new year's night inky-black feet touch paper Jennifer Corpe (0,1,1) = 3 Pts reading of his will — the sour expressions on their sons' faces Zhanna P. Rader (0,0,3) = 3 Pts the sky darkens — a hesitation before signing the contract max verhart (0,0,3) = 3 Pts passport control — all he wants to see is her smile Pia Sosua (0,0,3) = 3 Pts General Comments: This was much more difficult than writing my entries! ‘autumn twilight’ is the best haiku in both the kukai categories according to me. Reminds me of the masters of haiku and the haiku as it is supposed to be! I ended up creating three lists pruning down my favorites! And I sorely wish I could vote for the ones I left out. I'm always afraid that poems on my short list that don't make the final cut will wind up with zero points, giving the misleading impression that nobody liked them. And I'll try to keep this in mind for my next zero. Some really creative responses to the documents prompt. Thank you all for participating in the July 2008 Shiki Monthly Kukai. We will be posting the August Call for Submissions on or about Monday, August 4th. See you then! With much appreciation, Robert Bauer, Secretary Gary Warner, Web Host Participate in the Shiki Monthly Kukai by choosing a link below How it Works Most Recent Results Current Kukai Topics Kukai Archives An explanation of how the kukai functions. The results of our most recent month! Click here to learn about THIS month's kukai. Previous month's results.