The Shiki Monthly Kukai April 2008 Kukai Dear Haiku Friends, Here are the results for the April 2008 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was "Any Herb" and our Free Format word or phrase was "Rust". Congratulations to Francine Banwarth, winner of our Kigo section and to Melissa Spurr, winner of our Free Format section! The haiku are listed in order of total points received from voters. The numbers reflect the number of voters who gave the haiku either three points, two points, or one point -- followed by the total points for all votes. Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted. In the listing below, after each poem the author is listed, and then a three digit code revealing how many 3-point, 2-point, and 1-point points were cast for this poem by the other participating poets. (214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes. Voters comments are in italics below the respective poems. April 2008 Results Kigo Theme: Any Herb Free Format Theme: Rust First Place – Thirty-one Points gathering thyme . . . the thoughts that come when I'm on my knees   Francine Banwarth (1,9,10) = 31 Pts For me 'thyme' has an echo of 'time' and by extension the timelessness infinity of prayer. What is it about picking fresh herbs that brings us into a contemplative state? A beautifully executed haiku. Second Place – Twenty-three Points tax day— a bit of parsley in his smile Josh Wikoff (2,5,7) = 23 Pts I really like the simple humor of this one, tying in with the innovative seasonal reference of 'tax day'. Third place – Twenty Points lavender — even the old stems fragrant   jill (1,2,13) = 20 Pts Elegant, just like lavender. A perfect little morsel of a poem. moonlit field the cows knee-deep in comfrey larisa (1,3,11) = 20 Pts I don't even know what comfrey looks like, but this haiku conjures up a powerful image of cows, adrift on a sea of leaf. Although I've never experienced this before, I have now. It's a treat for the senses, full of it's own lovely sounds. Fourth Place – Fifteen Points dark clumps of wild onion scent her dreams   Gene Doty (2,2,5) = 15 Pts Fifth Place – Fourteen Points the empty house — chives and parsley gone to seed   Alice Frampton (0,2,10) = 14 Pts A good complementary juxtaposition.  Not sure if there's a 'deeper' meaning for this particular choice of herbs. If so, Google didn't tell me in time. A lovely way to show loss and neglect, while giving us hope that all is not lost, as long as there are fertile seeds remaining. the night she passed — moonlight shadows in wild lavender   Ron Moss (0,3,8) = 14 Pts Sixth Place – Thirteen Points dried spring herbs — I still love her Israel Lopez Balan (1,2,6) = 13 Pts Conveys loss and longing without overdoing it. spicing up the stew she hands me coriander in that dress rob scott (1,1,8) = 13 Pts Great, simple image from everyday life, with a dash of wit! Seventh Place – Twelve Points flowered curtains the scent of lavender drifts through them   Melissa Spurr (0,3,6) = 12 Pts silence of dawn... I stir my tea with cinnamon stick Vanja Nikovic (1,3,3) = 12 Pts Eighth Place – Eleven Points the first season without you — preparing lamb with powdered thyme Joyce Clement (0,2,7) = 11 Pts nettle leaf when I come home late her tongue Norsto (0,2,7) = 11 Pts Ninth Place – Ten Points cool shadows under the cliff swallows' nests water cress Bridget Cougar 91,2,3) = 10 Pts spring cleaning sage retires to a higher shelf   Deb Bauer (0,3,4) = 10 Pts Clever pun. I'm wondering if This 'sage' is a yang element. the discolored Christ in a roadside chapel fresh chamomiles Dorota Pyra (0,2,6) = 10 Pts soaking wet under the witch hazel tree your loud laughter Elena Naskova (1,2,3,) = 10 Pts Tenth Place – Nine Points long afterwards the tang of wild mint on your palms Beverley George (0,1,7) = 9 Pts There is a hint of sensuality in this one. "The tang of wild mint" is a good construction. Eleventh Place – Eight Points always different he names the puppy Mugwort Carmel Lively Westerman (0,3,2) = 8 Pts I love this! spring crossing — ants parade from parsley to thyme Mary Davila (0,2,4) = 8 Pts Love this one! still pond tiny ripples in the mint and marsh grass   mike farley (0,1,6) = 8 Pts The ripples in the mint are beautifully unexpected. Twelfth Place – Seven Points exploring a new trail wild mint at the end w. f. owen (2,0,1) = 7 Pts A beautiful thought, it brought me right to the scene. A brilliant stroke--the one-line format is absolutely perfect for this depiction of a trail, with the word "end" cleverly and appropriately placed at the end.  The juxtaposed concepts of "new trail" and "wild mint" are ideal mutual compliments. This is impeccably crafted; a superb haiku. Thirteenth Place – Six Points gaol garden walk — floating in the air a sense of thyme Lech Szeglowski (0,1,4) = 6 Pts sagebrush sea; swishing the scented air- a sparrow. manoj saranathan (1,0,3) = 6 Pts spring sun even the thyme out of the shadow og_a (1,0,3) = 6 Pts A very subtle expression of the magnificent mechanics that tilt the earth on its axis. bitter herbs, apples, walnuts, honey — life goes on Robert Ertman (0,1,4) = 6 Pts I like how this evokes Passover without spelling it out. lonely spring in my herb garden shoots of rue Ruth (0,2,2) = 6 Pts spring wind the rock wall draped in woolly thyme Susan Constable (0,0,6) = 6 Pts Fourteenth Place – Five Points my fingers fragrant all morning mint shoots   Ann K. Schwader (0,0,5) = 5 Pts country stillness — butterflies create wind around spring's yarrow ARW (0,0,5) = 5 Pts changing the baby's diaper mint sprig in her hair   Ben Gieske (0,1,3) = 5 Pts A good combination of sweet and concise. green chives garnishing spring Beth Powell (1,0,2) = 5 Pts wild mint  a real estate agent praises the shopping ed markowski (0,1,3) = 5 Pts spring rain a sprinkle of dried thyme goes into the pot jblain (1,0,2) = 5 Pts mating season the cat's unbridled passion for catnip Jennifer Corpe (0,2,1) = 5 Pts bright morning rosemary spills into the shade Jon Baldwin (0,1,3) = 5 Pts seaward path — each footfall yields the scent of wild thyme   jon davey (0,1,3) = 5 Pts warm neem leaves — the smell of spring forest in my bathwater     kala ramesh (0,1,3) = 5 Pts outdoor ballerinas daffodils flutter in the clover Meggy (0,1,3) = 5 Pts first day of spring — she questions my cooking with tarragon Mike Montreuil (0,0,5) = 5 Pts two drunks pissing on the rosemary April moon   Oliver Mead (0,1,3) = 5 Pts This made me laugh. fresh mint at midnight — first trimester   Roberta Beary (0,0,5) = 5 Pts our old house with its wild mint patch  — all gone now Shelley Krause (1,0,2) = 5 Pts self sown dill escapes his ex-wife's garden tom painting (0,1,3) = 5 Pts Fifteenth – Four Points tainted milk they scour the pasture hedgerow for wild garlic andrea (0,1,2) = 4 Pts While I find the second line a little long, the image is pitch-perfect - just a few words to create a very detailed scene. tea picking a maiden's song on my lips Apurva Iyengar (0,1,2) = 4 Pts chewing fresh mint we kiss over the stove — late dinner David Grayson (0,1,2) = 4 Pts spring term...     sharing a spliff   on the fire escape   Helen Buckingham (0,1,2,) = 4 Pts parsley so green it throbs — spring rain Irene Golas (0,1,2) = 4 Pts just to be blue... in its secluded corner rosemary blooms   Marlène Buitelaar (0,0,4) = 4 Pts rubbing basil between my fingers — the taste of your kiss   Neil Muscott (0,0,4) = 4 Pts the scent of lemon balm in April moonlight heat lightning shimmers patricia a. boutilier (0,0,4) = 4 Pts Sixteenth Place – Three Points backpacking solo the taste of mint tea redefined Agnes Eva Savich (0,0,3) = 3 Pts high tea — her son swaps parsley for cannabis   Allison Millcock (0,1,1) = 3 Pts This one made me actually laugh and go back to read it again. sweet fennel leaves near the river path a down-filled nest Barbara Snow ( 0,0,3) = 3 Pts on a catnip high my cat mistakes my fingers for more lawful prey Deirdre Godwin (0,1,1) = 3 Pts pots of herbs except for the mint name tags   doris kasson (0,0,3) = 3 Pts city garden plots clay pots of sage and thyme on fire escape steps Edward (0,1,1) = 3 Pts We have to get some parsley, sage, rosemary, and — what else did we need? Horst Ludwig (0,1,1) = 3 Pts Amusing! grass in pot neighbour stares when told it is for cancer   john tiong chunghoo (0,1,1) = 3 Pts so much wild thyme — an early robin chirrups my hoe Lin Geary (0,0,3) = 3 Pts potted herbs in the warming sun — new apartment Marylouise Knight (0,0,3) = 3 Pts dinner guests — the kitchen basil withered   max verhart (0,0,3) = 3 Pts General Comments: So many wonderful haiku from which to choose! A Very savory bunch of poems in this Kigo batch. The majority of the submitted haiku for the April kigo entry had more than one kigo. This multiplication of kigo diluted the effect of the haiku's resonance. Specific Comment: 12th Place: exploring a new trail wild mint at the end By changing the order and getting rid of the verb (which is unnecessary as it is implied in "new"), wild mint is at the end for the reader too.      a new trail... at its end wild mint As I understand it, this time we had to ensure that our herb was to be used as the kigo, which means the haiku must be in harmony with spring. Many different plants were used as herbs, culinary and medicinal, but some excellent haiku unfortunately didn't really harmonize with the season [e.g. 41, 106], which would have been fine in the Free Format category. Some used double-kigo or double kireji and would improve with editing. First Place – Thirty-six Points night sky the rusted tin roof leaking moonlight Melissa Spurr (3,6,15) = 36 Pts A very lovely image here. Here the pleasant surprise of what is leaked almost overcomes my dismay at the throw-away first line.Moonlight tells us it is night and implies 'sky'. Second Place – Twenty-six Points bullet holes rust bleeds down the old sign Neil Muscott (2,3,14) = 26 Pts I think the image here is just awesome. The word "bleeds" is perfect for this poem. As if the color of old blood might leak from the man-made sign. Again, there is that helplessness before inexplicable, random acts of violence. Thinking of what else might have bled as a result of other bullets makes this thought provoking. "Bleeds' is perfect here. Third Place – Twenty-three Points rusted pickup on the edge of town — prairie wind Beth Powell (1,5,10) = 23 Pts where the barn's tin roof    rusted          through               Mars ed markowski (1,5,10) = 23 Pts Excellent - I loved the contrast between the down-to-earth barn and the planet in the sky. This, to me, is probably the best haiku in this section. So simple, yet evocative and effective! Very effective use of the space of the poem to contribute to the image. Fourth Place – Nineteen Points counting the years since her death the rusty yard swing bre (2,1,11) = 19 Pts Fifth Place – Seventeen Points midlife crisis — a little rust spot on the red sports car Linda Papanicolaou (1,3,8) = 17 Pts Shades of red, the one modifying or contrasting with the other, 'live forever' vs. 'decay'. Fifth Place – Sixteen Points priming the pump the first gush rustier than the can Gene Doty (2,3,4) = 16 Points a rusty swing seagull cries on the wind shanna (2,3,4) = 16 Points Good juxtaposition in the similarity of sounds from the swing and seagull's cries. Also the 'scent' link between the two is evocative of the lonely feeling that can come from our helplessness before the passage of time and the vastness of echoing space. Sixth Place – Twelve Points entangled in a rusty rake morning-glory Betty (0,2,8) = 12 Pts rusty wind chimes the wind doesn't mind Elena Naskova (0,4,4) = 12 Pts I love wind chimes! And the repeated use of the long-I sound makes this haiku musical. nursing home visit — same rust stain in the sink Roberta Beary (1,2,5) = 12 Pts rusty shovel he lets his grandson find the worms Susan Constable (1,3,3) = 12 Pts Seventh Place – Eleven Points colonial coin in the rust a young queen john tiong chunghoo (0,0,11) = 11 Pts A keen observation! Eighth Place – Ten Points autumn colors an abandoned school bus rusts in the woods Bill Kenney (01,8) = 10 Pts the neighbors still don't speak rust on the chain DeVar (01,8) = 10 Pts I love the analogy here. Cold war between the neighbors and the rusting chain. What a great way to show a long-standing feud between neighbors. Ninth Place – Nine Points another spring the rusted tractor deeper in the yard Joann (0,2,5) = 9 Pts All those things we want to get around to, yet another year goes by . . . and another and another. Soon we're buried in our "stuff," just like the tractor gets buried through neglect. Route 66 tumbleweed stuck on a rusted gate Sherry Weaver Smith (0,1,7) = 9 Pts Tenth Place – Eight Points a robin splashes in the rusted wheelbarrow lingering rain Catherine J.S. Lee (0,0,8) = 8 Pts weeds — fencing pliers rusted open mike farley (0,2,4) = 8 Pts winter's end a wrinkled hand rubs the fence's rust Rita Odeh (0,3,2) = 8 Pts Eleventh Place – Seven Points rusty sewing needles on faded pin cushion spring cleaning Audrey Downey (0,3,1) = 7 Pts ground fog the rusty aeroplane flies again Jacek M. (0,1,5) = 7 Pts summer passes — the iron gate still rusting Marylouise Knight (0,2,3) = 7 Pts after so much rain, can that be rust in the blue jay's cry? Shelley Krause (0,2,3) = 7 Pts Each time I read this, I hear a different variation on the jay's cry. I'm not particularly fond of sentence haiku or of question marks, but they both work for me with this sense of humor! Twelfth Place – Six Points early spring startled by the voice of the rusty gate Earl Keener (0,1,4) = 6 Pts early spring the old shed door rusted shut Meredith Stern Cavalieri (1,1,1) = 6 Pts weeks of April showers even my bones begin to rust soji (0,3,0) = 6 Pts the recluse her front gate hangs from a rusty hinge tom (0,2,2) = 6 Pts Thirteenth Place – Five Points deep rust on the letter opener hunter's moon Alice Frampton (0,0,5) = 5 Pts Many layers in this one. Love "hunter's moon." the clock above the bar blurred with rust — I order another beer David Grayson (0,1,3) = 5 Pts through the rust of an old bicycle wheel spring nettles grow Frances McCarthy (0,0,5) = 5 Pts old house — wide open rusty gate goblet (0,1,3) = 5 Pts spring breeze open gate's rusty hinges join birdsong Janice (0,1,3) = 5 Pts old iron gate — still holding on to the rust kala ramesh (0,1,3) = 5 Pts I sometimes feel like that old iron gate - holding on to things that are really no longer of use, but wondering what will be left in my life if I give all the unneeded things away. fallen leaves on a rusty merry-go-round a man hurries past Li Ree (1,0,2) = 5 Pts There is a story in this one. Good image. I like the mystery in this, the contrast between things and time. rust on the keyhole cottage for sale Meggy (0,0,5) = 5 Pts autumn rain the abandoned ballpark weeps rust rob scott (0,1,3) = 5 Pts old tree-house . . . a shade of rust in the sunrise Ron Moss (0,1,3) = 5 Pts a maze of rusted nails — a lonely ant Vishnu Narayanan (0,0,5) = 5 Pts two years a widow... his garden tools rust in the shed Zhanna P. Rader (0,2,1) = 5 Pts Fourteenth Place – Four Points a parking meter with a bit of rust but not enough Barbara Snow (0,0,4) = 4 Pts missing dad sandpapering rust off his old tool box dsnake1 (1,0,1) = 4 Pts I really liked the combination of looking back _and_ moving on. on the red wagon his name in rust Lin Geary (0,0,4) = 4 Pts spring again rusty tools from last year Mr. PC (0,1,2) = 4 Pts cold evening — April rain falling through the rusty roof Stephen Nzomo (1,0,1) = 4 Pts You can really feel the desolation and chill in this place. Fifteenth Place – Three Points pottery shed — rusty water sputters from the faucet Ami (0,0,3) = =3 Pts searching for the cat through wrecked cars covered with rust wind whistles and moans ARW (1,0,0) = 3 Pts final anchorage... sunset and rust on old fisherman's hands Dejan Pavlinovic (0,0,3) = =3 Pts all rusty in the newly turned compost pile the missing trowel fedelmia (0,1,1) = 3 Pts on the ring more than one rusty key Francine Banwarth (0,0,3) = =3 Pts clapboard shack the tap splutters out a flake of pipe Josh Wikoff (0,1,1) = 3 Pts roadside Christ — where the gilt was rust max verhart (0,1,1) = 3 Pts pomegranate faded to rust still clings to her branch miriam chaikin (0,1,1) = 3 Pts my key screeching in the rusty padlock — April rain Patrick Wafula (1,0,0) = 3 Pts spring sun — the rust on the bicycle comes off easily Pia Sosua (0,0,3) = =3 Pts General Comments: Wish I had more points to spent. A fine selection of haiku! These were especially difficult to choose, as many were very good. Thank you for participating in the April 2008 Kukai! We will be posting the May Call for Submissions on Monday, May 5th. See you then! With much appreciation, Robert Bauer, Secretary Gary Warner, Web Host Participate in the Shiki Monthly Kukai by choosing a link below How it Works Most Recent Results Current Kukai Topics Kukai Archives An explanation of how the kukai functions. The results of our most recent month! Click here to learn about THIS month's kukai. Previous month's results.