The Shiki Monthly Kukai December 2007 Kukai Dear Haiku Friends, Here are the results for the December 2007 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was "Narcissus" and our Free Format subject was "Cheese". Congratulations to Israel Lopez Balan, winner of our Kigo section and to George Hawkins, winner of our Free Format section! In the kigo section this month, we had one entry in which the poet employed allusion, referencing the very famous Nick Virgilio "Lily" haiku: Lily: out of the water... out of itself. N. Virgilio, 1985 We understand that the use of allusion in haiku can be tricky business and received one poet's expressed concern that this attempt crossed the line. Robert and I felt the poem was so well-known that the allusion would be obvious and so let it stand. Interestingly, I queried a few poets who voted for this poem and only one knew it referred to the original poem. A bit of a dilemma since the submitting poet hadn't intended anyone to mistake his work as original. It has been a learning lesson. For those of you not familiar with the late Mr. Virgilio, a master American poet, here are two places to visit: nickvirgilio.rutgers.edu/ nickvirgiliohaikuassociation.org/ The haiku are listed in order of total points received from voters. The numbers reflect the number of voters who gave the haiku either three points, two points, or one point -- followed by the total points for all votes. Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted. In the listing below, after each poem the author is listed, and then a three digit code revealing how many 3-point, 2-point, and 1-point points were cast for this poem by the other participating poets. (214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes. December 2007 Results Kigo Theme: Narcissus Free Format Theme: Cheese First Place -- 20 points migrating birds - the waving field of narcissus Israel Lopez Balan (0,5,10) = 20 pts A lovely image-(the artist)Escher-like. Second Place -- 19 pts narcissus . . . stars turning to snow Francine Banwarth (0,7,5) = 19 pts Third Place -- 16 pts into the water, into itself: narcissus josh wikoff (2,2,6) = 16 pts ...thought it was a clever "reflection" of the original piece. I felt whoever wrote it really twisted the kigo word in a unique way... new snow . . . her footprints lead to the narcissus Susan Constable (0,4,8) = 16 pts 15 points first narcissus . . . the toddler meets his baby sister Carole MacRury (0,4,7) = 15 pts 14 points caught in the mirror — the December moon and white narcissus Jill (2,1,6) = 14 pts 13 points A narcissus in her black hair… first snow Magdalena Dale (1,1,8) = 13 pts 12 points second frost mother and narcissus burying both Bill Hudson (3,0,3) = 12 pts in her palm narcissus bulbs such yearning Ruth Powell (0,5,2) = 12 pts Good haiku use physical images to evoke feelings. Nice contrast of the open palm and round bulbs; a yearning for what? spring, growth, love? bright koi glide below the narcissus reflections Rose Marie Stutts, EdD (0,3,6) = 12 pts I like the beautiful visuals, the colors of koi and narcissus and the allusion (only) to the myth. bending down to sniff the narcissus thinking about himself Neil Muscott (0,3,6) = 12 pts 11 points by the water narcissus touches its reflection Gosia Zamorska (1,3,2) = 11 pts 10 points the northern star and the sun hibernating in a narcissus Anne Lind (1,2,3) = 10 pts paper narcissus — morning light shines through one petal Marylouise Knight (0,3,4) = 10 pts my gift of forced narcissus . . . waiting for your smile Bill Kenney (0,1,8) = 10 pts 9 points old photo — grandmother in the garden surrounded by narcissus Ivana Vanja Nikovic (1,2,2) = 9 pts lost in the snowdrift a narcissus Vasile Moldovan (1,1,4) = 9 pts kindergarten budding narcissus line the windowsill tom painting (0,2,5) = 9 pts winter's longest night — sweet narcissus keeping her company Leslie Montgomery (0,1,7) = 9 pts 8 points reflected in the rain puddle narcissus Bridget Cougar (1,1,3) = 8 pts a wild narcissus! the lingering excitement in the echo's voice Zhanna P. Rader (0,3,2) = 8 pts self-portrait: in the hand of a girl a white narcissus Don Basilio (0,2,4) = 8 pts reflecting pool double blooms of narcissus above the mist andrea (0,1,6) = 8 pts 7 points winter chill . . . she plants narcissus in a festive red pot Carol Raisfeld* (0,3,1) = 7 pts in winter darkness just for the scent of it — forced narcissus Mary Lee McClure (0,1,5) = 7 pts narcissus in bloom he tilts his Santa hat and winks at himself Catherine J.S. Lee (0,1,5) = 7 pts A fresh playful take on being a little too full of one’s self. 6 points narcissus on the catalog’s cover — my red fingernails Ami (1,1,1) = 6 pts I like the subtle story here: her catalogue is wishful thinking, her painted nails do not garden. winter sun — on fading narcissus the last rays Jordi Climent (0,2,2) = 6 pts second date narcissus bulb germinates Polona (0,1,4) = 6 pts 5 points three weeks later six narcissus bulbs still in the sack soji (1,0,2) = 5 pts snow thaw — first bended narcissus lifts its head Tom Maretic (1,0,2) = 5 pts lake echoes... the ecstasy of a narcissus touch Rita Odeh (0,2,1) = 5 pts ice drops on the narcissus bloom the cat sleeping by the fire Sjs (Stevie) (0,2,1) = 5 pts gone like her the narcissus painting in the gallery window john tiong chunghoo (0,2,1) = 5 pts narcissus in yellowed herbarium just the name Dorota Pyra (0,1,3) = 5 pts nightfall the persistent yellow of narcissus blossoms ed markowski (0,1,3) = 5 pts a distant voice... narcissus bulbs lie beneath the birdbath Laurene (0,0,5) = 5 pts sunny spell he buys a narcissus for himself Petar Tchouhov (0,0,5) = 5 pts rimy windowpane in the breath of hot tea painted narcissus Boris Nazansky (0,0,5) = 5 pts bent narcissus — how many bloom with faces hidden George Hawkins (0,0,5) = 5 pts 4 points Easter drizzle the faded narcissuses raise their heads Jacek M. (0,1,2) = 4 pts on stage young ballerinas' first dance ~ a narcissus blooms tish davis (0,1,2) = 4 pts My experience also, children dancing ballet can resemble flowers. between narcissus and the snow frost blossoms Ann K. Schwader (0,1,2) = 4 pts metrosexual... his window, the reflection of a narcissus Ed S (0,1,2) = 4 pts narcissus somehow draped with tinsel Beth Powell (0,0,4) = 4 pts wind blown making a snow angel a narcissus Terra Martin (0,0,4) = 4 pts window frost the white narcissus opens for Christmas Irene Golas (0,0,4) = 4 pts 3 points another gray day narcissus bulbs dormant under mounds of snow Jeanne Jorgensen (1,0,0) = 3 pts mid-day sun melting the ice Narcissus weeps Pris Campbell (0,1,1) = 3 pts the water mirror leaves Autumn to Narcissus  —our barren Cedar Jared Kubokawa, ALT Ehime-ken (0,1,1) = 3 pts Broken, white narcissus — she never arrives krin (0,0,3) = 3 pts nursery class — the girl sings to a narcissus Charishma Ramchandani (0,0,3) = 3 pts narcissus a bee clambers into its trumpet RaV (0,0,3) = 3 pts GENERAL COMMENTS: Narcissi produced some fine poems. They seem so naturally poetic, so white, so out of season (so to speak), so fragrant. What a gift, to get to read so many fine & fun haiku - thank you! First Place -- 31 pts waning year the cheese ball changes shape George Hawkins (1,9,10) = 31 pts Second Place -- 27 pts winter moon i carve a wedge of camembert Beth Powell (0,6,15) = 27 pts A wonderful and stark comparison. Third Place -- 23 pts divorce over — she changes the cheese in the mousetrap Petar Tchouhov (2,4,9) = 23 pts Good use of ambiguity, what mouse is she trying to catch? 21 points snowbound . . . paring the mold off an old cheese Carole MacRury (2,2,11) = 21 pts 18 points moon shadow the little gray mouse edges toward the cheese Ben Gieske (1,1,13) = 18 pts 17 points Oh Moon! Why must you look like a cheddar wheel when I'm fasting? Rose Marie Stutts, EdD (2,3,5) = 17 pts Humorously expands on the moon as cheese metaphor. 15 points Trappist cheese the farm resonates in silent prayers Audrey Downey (2,2,5) = 15 pts This haiku has great depth. I love the contrast between "resonates" and "silent". Beautiful! deep winter: the golden crust of cheese on onion soup Irene Golas (2,1,7) = 15 pts winter night — we share cheesecake between kisses Ivana Vanja Nikovic (1,2,8) = 15 pts bridal shower — the cheese tray sweats a little aom (tim) (0,4,7) = 15 pts 14 points crumbling the Roquefort . . . it was just a small white lie Francine Banwarth (0,4,6) = 14 pts What a clever, ironic haiku! 13 points unexpected guests I serve them wine with cheese bought for mousetraps Karen Briggs (1,1,8) = 13 pts 12 points school lunch the processed cheese stands alone tom painting (0,1,10) = 12 pts 11 points grated parmesan on the spaghetti — he loosens his tie Alice Frampton ((0,3,5) = 11 pts 9 points rising full moon — my son wants holes in cheese for supper Gosia Zamorska (0,3,3) = 9 pts 7 points a bit of cheesecake this holiday eve short red skirt Pris Campbell (1,2,0) = 7 pts Nice word play on cheesecake, simple, vivid image. surprise blizzard she grates Asiago for leftover pasta Catherine J.S. Lee (0,2,3) = 7 pts faculty pot luck the chemistry teacher adds a can of string cheese ed markowski (0,1,5) = 7 pts last shovelful of snow — a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup Laurene (0,1,5) = 7 pts 6 points twilight reflection — a wheel of Gouda cheese caught in the wine glass Marylouise Knight (0,2,2) = 6pts snowflakes on our Christmas table — parmesan Dejan Pavlinovic (0,1,4) = 6 pts supper gong from room to room the smell of cheddar Jacek M. (0,1,4) = 6 pts wedding photo — we were so happy saying "cheese" Gabriel Sawicki (0,1,4) = 6 pts 5 points Three brown mice caught red-handed on my Stilton Blue A real Fromage a Trois Jon Espen Vassbotn (1,1,0) = 5 pts wintry mix sprinkling parmesan over the stew Bill Kenney (1,0,2) = 5 pts eating cheese — later a cow moos deep inside me Neil Muscott (0,1,3) = 5 pts love confession — how quick cheese melts on the pizza..! Rita (0,0,5) = 5 pts behind the camera I say ‘Camembert’ my son’s smile Cherie Hunter Day (0,0,5) = 5 pts St. Nicholas... she feeds her pet mouse a cheese cube Ella Wagemakers (0,0,5) = 5 pts 4 points candlelight dinner in Rome her lover's sexy accent — "mozzarella" Leslie Montgomery (1,0,1) = 4 pts cheese foreign like swiss john tiong chunghoo (1,0,1) = 4 pts contented cows grazing in the field — California cheese Nancy Nitrio (0,1,2) = 4 pts birthday party hot mozzarella pizza strings across the table Carmel Lively Westerman (0,1,2) = 4 pts fireside chat — the warm afterglow of our raclette Isabelle Prondzynski (0,1,2) = 4 pts class photo the cheese on each face so fresh RaV (0,1,2) = 4 pts 3 points ignoring the trap until we put in french cheese — gourmet mouse Marlène Buitelaar (1,0,0) = 3 pts Idle afternoon — the grass sprinkled with feta crumbs krin (0,1,1) = 3 pts first snow a tub of fromage blanc full of white Dorota Pyra (0,1,1) = 3 pts getting healthy — one cheeseburger instead of two Carol Raisfeld (0,1,1) = 3 pts not a crumb of Stilton left — New Year's Ann K. Schwader (0,1,1) = 3 pts cheese hors d'oeuvres the family portrait on the wall Sjs (Stevie) (0,1,1) = 3 pts After Christmas dinner strong scent of Denmark with the Port Angelika Kolompar Bygott (0,0,3) = 3 pts In an Italian park a Gipsy boy eating Dutch cheese Don Basilio (0,0,3) = 3 pts socks taken off — this spreading smell of Gorgonzola Tom Maretic (0,0,3) = 3 pts today's special ~ limburger wedge on a mousetrap Ed S (0,0,3) = 3 pts snow day — cubes of cheddar cheese in hot tomato soup DeVar (0,0,3) = 3 pts GENERAL COMMENTS: Cheese seems more of a source of metaphor than I had realized--as well as humor. No one, thank goodness, though, wrote about the moon made of green cheese. Thank you all for participating in the Shiki Monthly Kukai. We will open the January 2008 kukai to submissions on Monday, January 7th. We wish everyone a wonderful New Years Day! 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