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The Shiki Monthly Kukai

August 2009 Kukai

Here are the results for the August 2009 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was Corn or Maize and our Free Format subject was Fasting or Hunger.

Congratulations to Melissa Spurr, winner of our Kigo section and to Collin Barber, winner of our Free Format section!

Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted.

(214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes.

Voters comments are in italics below the respective poems.

August 2009 Results
Kigo Theme: Corn or Maize	Free Format Theme: Fasting or Hunger
First Place -- 37 points late summer corn stalks closing in on the scarecrow Melissa Spurr (3,7,14) = 37 pts Besides the lovely visual effect in this haiku, I thoroughly enjoy the gentle irony of the cornstalks "closing in". What a great L2! It also makes me aware that the scarecrow was almost all that could be seen in the field earlier in the year and now, it's almost hidden by the corn. Second Place -- 21 pts corn silk-- the baby's hair holds a spit curl DeVar (1,6,6) = 21 pts Third Place -- 20 pts thunderhead moon shucking dry corn in the porch light Ron Moss (1,3,11) = 20 pts I enjoyed the atmosphere. Fourth Place -- 16 pts early moon-- she pats blue corn masa into perfect circles Terri L. French (3,2,3) = 16 pts I’ve waked to that predawn slapping many times. Fifth Place -- 15 pts a Navajo child clutches her corn husk doll the orphanage Carolyn Coit Dancy (2,3,3) = 15 pts Sixth Place -- 14 pts slice of sky a prairie wind rattles the corn maze Catherine J.S. Lee (0,2,10) = 14 pts I enjoy the way we begin by seeing the sky, then are moved from alliteration to the sound of the wind. The use of "rattles" is wonderful, giving me both a distinct sound and a subtle sense of agitation. I love the animation in this one; liked the choice of the word "slice" here. Seventh Place -- 13 pts she combs her hair rows of tasseled corn curve with the hillside Elaine Riddell (1,3,4) = 13 pts field of corn - my girl and I look for her bra Andrzej Dembonczyk (0,3,7) = 13 pts Eighth Place -- 12 pts parched field he bends to straighten a corn stalk Warren Gossett (0,3,6) = 12 pts On first read, this seems like a simple description, but there are also layers of meaning for me below the surface. I get a sense of an old man, not only parched by thirst but also withered by life itself. And yet, here he is, tending his corn as though his life depends upon it. I like the contrast here and the appeal to the senses part of which is intimated rather than stated; as well there is a nice crisp attitude in the writing of this haiku; this was my favourite of all but I gave only one point, only because there were so many good ones I also wanted to score. Ninth Place -- 11 pts corn maze entrance about an hour's walk from... corn maze entrance Rafal Zabratynski (1,2,4) = 11 pts Really excellent! There is a sense of immediacy, sharing with the reader the experience through subtle, yet direct, and economical wording. Perhaps best of all is the Zen humor of however things change they also stay the same. Tenth Place -- 10 pts fresh start she slices a peach for our cornflakes tom painting (1,2,3) = 10 pts love this one, what is left unspoken. The special touch she adds to the cornflakes representing a recommitment to the relationship. in the cornfield a faint cry of a child Meggy (0,4,2) = 10 pts runaway the cornfield in her face Roberta Beary (0,3,4) = 10 pts Eleventh Place -- 9 pts drive-in theater ... the warm popcorn box on my lap Ramona Linke (0,2,5) = 9 pts Twelfth Place -- 8 pts back home--- the corn higher pockets empty John Soules (1,1,3) = 8 pts family reunion bright colored maize row after row Laurene (1,0,5) = 8 pts It might need a little polishing but all the ingredients are there for a fine verse. cornfield kiss - a secret whispered to the ears Alexander "Lex" Joy (0,2,4) = 8 pts scattered corn- shadow of the volcano on the stone altar KRZYSZTOF PL (0,2,4) = 8 pts the sound of the wind across the cornfields— prairie summers Marylouise Knight (0,0,8) = 8 pts Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts windless night insects owls and the rustle of growing corn gourdman (1,1,2) = 7 pts Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts fall field— corn rows catch her hair Janet Marxen (1,1,1) = 6 pts autumn night -- the meager corn crop becomes premium moonshine Edward (1,1,1) = 6 pts Sounds delicious. butter slathered from ear to ear corn cob cook-out andrea (0,2,2) = 6 pts fields of slanted maize yielding whispers _kala (0,2,2) = 6 pts corn planting— her prayer in the incense smoke Ellen Compton (0,1,4) = 6 pts state fair- a gap-toothed boy buys buttered corn Devika (0,1,4) = 6 pts Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts a pale of husks a gathering of children for the magic of dolls Merrill Ann Gonzales (1,1,0) = 5 pts hot summer day running through the cornfield naked as a crow Sjs Stevie Strang (0,2,1) = 5 pts Without line three: my favourite. hide and seek - - alarmed crows flock from the cornfield Terry O'Connor (0,1,3) = 5 pts corn moon the rustle of silk in his ears Francine Banwarth (0,1,3) = 5 pts through the tall red dancing heads of poppies a corn field Andre Surridge (0,0,5) = 5 pts cold afternoon -- an old toothless woman roasting maize stephen macharia (0,0,5) = 5 pts A mixture of pathos and wit. Without “old” worth more. corn maze . . . children's voices shade from laughter to fear Bill Pauly (0,0,5) = 5 pts Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts My Polish cousin Eating his corn on the cob - Neatly - with a fork! Conrad Sienkiewicz (0,2,0) = 4 pts summer night in the corn field – they share the last allergy pill Aalix Roake (0,1,2) = 4 pts corn stubble fields a buggy obscured in the driving rain Jennifer Corpe (0,1,2) = 4 pts To the horizon the gentle wave of corn with the evening sun Horst Ludwig (0,0,4) = 4 pts This is a firm picture in my head and in my heart. pop of the roasting corn- I sink my teeth into the sound of rain sanjukta (0,0,4) = 4 pts corn silk ancient designs on the backstrap loom Allen McGill (0,0,4) = 4 pts his smile from ear to ear ~ corn festival Mary Davila (0,0,4) = 4 pts Charming. surrounded by silk two girls laughing on the stoop husking corn Shelley Krause (0,0,4) = 4 pts A nice playful scene; I like the liveliness in this haiku. Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts Scarecrow guarding corn Springtime problem for blackbirds Such super villain Joseph Spence, Sr. (1,0,0) = 3 pts Ears of corn you make love noises as we eat. Trevor Camp (1,0,0) = 3 pts farmer's market-- sharing a corn earworm's path with a stranger aom (tim) (1,0,0) = 3 pts on a country road – an elaborate sculpture of an ear of corn Patricia Prime (0,1,1) = 3 pts maize roaster -- golden sparks fly into the dusk Isabelle Prondzynski (0,1,1) = 3 pts ripening corn- when did they grow up? our kids... DA (0,1,1) = 3 pts corn maze... no sign of the elephant nor its eye Scott Mason (0,0,3) = 3 pts pecking holes in the corn bag our festive chook Barbara A Taylor (0,0,3) = 3 pts a boy chews an abandoned green maize... late noon Catherine Njeri Maina (0,0,3) = 3 pts Abandoned: it fascinates and repels. for children a maze in the maize Barbara Campitelli (0,0,3) = 3 pts vociferous murmur from the maize plantation... August showers Patrick Wafula (0,0,3) = 3 pts	First Place -- 42 pts hunger pangs the vending machine eats a dollar Collin Barber (3,8,17) = 42 pts Evokes a common experience. Second Place -- 34 pts winter sunset the beggar's shadow grows thinner Melissa Spurr (1,8,15) = 34 pts Thinning sunlight, thinning shadows, and a thinning beggar create a powerful image and haiku. Third Place -- 23 pts evening walk -- two fasting monks debate the color of hunger Edward (1,6,8) = 23 pts Interesting picture of detachment. Absurd. And full of real life. Fourth Place -- 20 pts three-day fast a night loon echoes my emptiness Francine Banwarth (1,4,9) = 20 pts Best of the litter award. The phrase is beautiful in this haiku! I especially like the link between sound and mood. Fifth Place -- 18 pts fasting I swallow the morning star whole rob scott (2,3,6) = 18 pts Sixth Place -- 15 pts Bagdad street child sharing bread with a hungry dog Terri L. French (1,6,0) = 15 pts Seventh Place -- 14 pts all day fast a pair of sneakers by the scale Roberta Beary (0,5,4) = 14 pts I like what is shown to support what is stated. Eighth Place -- 12 pts famine lengthens... she adds more water to the soup Ruth Powell (1,2,5) = 12 pts The famine stretches across time, while the person (who I imagine is a poverty-stricken mother of several children) tries to stretch their meager meal just a little bit further. Ninth Place -- 11 pts drought cattle motionless in the dust Allen McGill (1,3,2) = 11 pts Wonderful. The whole long and sad story caught in six words. The poet has been there. midnight hunger we spoon each other ice cream Terry O'Connor (0,3,5) = 11 pts bloodwood moon a starving dingo paces the rain shadow Ron Moss (0,2,7) = 11 pts Tenth Place -- 10 pts the darkness meows again for food winter night David Grayson (0,2,6) = 10 pts Eleventh Place -- 9 pts period of fasting… I tighten my belt again one more hole Jacek M. (0,3,3) = 9 pts watching the stars... a hungry boy forgets to eat his supper Catherine Njeri Maina (0,2,5) = 9 pts fasting with the buddha ... today only rain Ed Schwellenbach (0,2,5) = 9 pts Twelfth Place -- 8 pts starving urchin – he stumbles upon fasting holy men Gautam Nadkarni (1,1,3) = 8 pts gibbous moon the distended belly of a poster child Susan Constable (0,2,4) = 8 pts Weight Watcher's meeting we gather for an hour and talk about food Harvey Jenkins (0,1,6) = 8 pts Great scene, just a bit too overloaded with words. hunger moon an auger's whine out on the ice tom painting (0,0,8) = 8 pts Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts deer tracks fill with new snow hunger moon Diane Mayr (0,1,5) = 7 pts day five fasting he smells a meal served on TV gourdman (0,1,5) = 7 pts Great idea. Unfortunately rather prose than poetry in my eyes. Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts fasting ends each kind of berry its own aroma Audrey Downey (1,0,3) = 6 pts hunger pains the rumble of war memories Andre Surridge (0,2,2) = 6 pts Hunger pains the rumble of war memories poetic yet still haiku; I love this. fasting day dad is throwing crumbs to the pigeons Boris Nazansky (0,2,2) = 6 pts staff meeting - the first hunger pang comes with sound Laurene (0,1,4) = 6 pts Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts 11 hours drive when I finally stop for lunch mosquitoes Bruce Ross (0,2,1) = 5 pts forty-hour fast – I sneak a square of chocolate Patricia Prime (0,1,3) = 5 pts morning bells-- louder, the cry of a hungry kitten Nelson (0,1,3) = 5 pts Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts morning hunger - I choose which blossoms are put on the altar Bhalachandra Sahaj (0,1,2) = 4 pts the thin teats of a starving sow her withered piglet Garry Eaton (0,1,2) = 4 pts defiant, she put three pennies on the counter "one egg, please" miriam chaikin (0,1,2) = 4 pts the sadhu – a wooden bowl his measure of hunger Gregg Crow (0,1,2) = 4 pts There are unasked questions posed here, it's the kind of haiku that leaves one pondering. fourth fasting day- the calm of a rock garden Buddha Devika (0,0,4) = 4 pts Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts ending fast- a glimpse of the moon, a glimpse of him DA (0,1,1) = 3 pts Love how the word "glimpse" represents the thinness of the man. at catfish creek nothing left but the bones carol pearce-worthington (0,1,1) = 3 pts Thinking about what has happened makes me nervous. summer drizzle... a dog jumps out of a trash bin with a bone Kameshwar Rao (0,0,3) = 3 pts in the beggar's bowl an autumn wind provides his tea Merrill Ann Gonzales (0,0,3) = 3 pts If you would remove a few words, I think you would polish this haiku to a nice shine. Perhaps drop everything but "beggars bowl" in the first line, break the second line after wind, and drop "his" in the third. Just a suggestion, and I voted for your haiku just as it is. going downstairs to collect the newspaper the smell of bacon Marylouise Knight (0,0,3) = 3 pts barbecue party a chat about dieting in the future tense Rafal Zabratynski (0,0,3) = 3 pts General Comments: Too bad I had to eliminate a number of good poems because the prescribed words were not actually used as kigo. Even so, it was difficult to select my top three. Some really nice ones had to be cut because the kigo didn't apply to the correct season. I see that I'm not the only participant who had difficulty with this kigo. I'd say a lot of our attempts are sentences, laundry lists, or are so obscure they reveal nothing - mine included! I enjoyed all of the free format haiku..I really wish I could have picked more. This month's two themes have really spoken to our Kenya haijin. Maize, the staple food of Kenya. Hunger, the current situation of Kenya, after two years of insufficient rain and empty water reservoirs. The Kenya poets have been suffering hunger, and their haiku this month have been written from direct experience. Thank you both for these two great themes! Wow, both these contests were tough--too many good poems, not enough points to award! Many thanks! After reading the free format entries, I can see that everyone gave their best efforts there - myself included. I'm having a hard time whittling my list down! This one was a lot tougher to find the right ones. There are so many excellent ones in here. The triviality of plenty and the many faces of hunger side by side.

Thank you for participating in the August 2009 Kukai! We will be posting the September Call for Submissions on Sunday, September 6th. See you then!

With much appreciation,

The Shiki Kukai Team

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