The Shiki Monthly Kukai March 2008 Kukai Dear Haiku Friends, Here are the results for the March 2008 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was "Anything Spring" and our Free Format word or phrase was "Aging". Congratulations to Paul O. Williams, winner of our Kigo section and to Nancy Nitrio, winner of our Free Format section! The haiku are listed in order of total points received from voters. The numbers reflect the number of voters who gave the haiku either three points, two points, or one point -- followed by the total points for all votes. Those who were given less than three points and who requested anonymity in such a case are so noted. In the listing below, after each poem the author is listed, and then a three digit code revealing how many 3-point, 2-point, and 1-point points were cast for this poem by the other participating poets. (214 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes. Voters comments are in italics below the respective poems. March 2008 Results Kigo Theme: Anything Spring Free Format Theme: Aging First Place – 32 Points near dusk-- a tadpole surfacing bursts the moon P. O. Williams (3,7,9) = 32 pts Good word choice, imagery and phrasing. The sense of breakthrough here is almost audible. Second Place – 24 Points mossy bank the doe nuzzles her swollen belly Susan Constable (1,6,9) = 24 pts As a city boy, I must confess I've never seen this, but it sounds right. It is near time and so skillfully presented that we note it for ourselves. This is haiku. Third Place – 21 Points spring night the astronomer finds a hole in his sock Petar Tchouhov (2,6,3) = 21 pts This haiku's sense of fun is appealing. Loved the story of this!  Great balance, too... the astronomer unable to resist the tug of the sky, the cold hole in the sock vs. the stars' fiery pinpricks in the night sky... really nice. 18 Points spring darkness a faint light from his workshop w. f. owen (2,2,8) = 18 pts The paradoxes contained in "spring darkness" and "faint light" bounce off each other and add wonderful depth. The mystery contained in "his workshop" (Who is "he"? What project is he working on?) also adds to the feeling of excitement: the poet so skillfully shows us that spring is a season pregnant with possibilities. I love the quiet, haunting quality of this. young grass - the silent walk of a paperboy Jacek M. (1,3,9) = 18 pts The boy's age and the grass's age are parallel, but there is a more complex, evolutionary relationship between the age of the grass and the paper (made from trees). I almost feel the grass as witness here: observing the non-languaged, graceful, animal movements of the boy and the codified, symbol-laden newspaper. 17 Points spring wind . . . a tulip undresses petal by petal   Mary Davila (0,2,13) = 17 pts 16 Points morning breeze - a robin lands on the basketball hoop Israel Lopez Balan (0,2,12) = 16 pts A moment full of the promise of spring, nicely observed. 13 Points between me and the preacher-- her Easter Bonnet   Pris Campbell (0,3,7) = 13 pts I like that there is more than one level to this haiku. This one says so much in these three little lines.  I really appreciate the layers of meaning. This haiku could have easily crossed the line into sentimentality by saying " warm sun", "a new chick" or "baby's hands" but, by carefully keeping just this side of the line it sketches - for me - a pure, unadulterated, perfectly lovely but not sickly-sweet moment of spring. I like the openness of the phrase, then the lovely surprise of line three. last snow patch -- the smell of new sneakers Ann K. Schwader (1,2,6) = 13 pts I'll take this over the smell of old sneakers any time! Nice homely moment, though. I like the implied image of dirty old sneakers (or even boots) being tossed aside and replaced with something that's whiter and brighter than the melting snow. 12 Points two in the morning — the rain and the roof are talking Shelley Krause (1,4,1) = 12 pts the sun goes in and out— running errands Marylouise Knight (2,2,2) = 12 pts 11 Points urban spring first daffodil in empty Coke bottle Gabriel Sawicki (0,4,3) = 11 pts daffodils in wind our first child stands Alice Frampton (0,3,5) = 11 pts 10 Points spring wind -- a swirl of traffic round the old stone church Isabelle Prondzynski (1,2,3) = 10 pts For me, this is an evocation of the emptiness of "Easter and Christmas" Christianity. sunlight a chick cupped in little hands Beth Powell (1,1,5) = 10 pts Sunshine and the chick perfectly paired. spring gust the butterfly bows with the daisy Meredith Stern Cavalieri (0,3,4) = 10 pts 9 Points morning chirp snail's track on the fence reflecting dawn Boris Nazansky (1,1,4) = 9 pts first date she shows me young buds Norsto (0,1,7) = 9 pts 8 Points spring breakup I patch a crack in the plaster tom painting (0,2,4) = 8 pts I tended to prefer the entries that avoided the word "spring," but this witty jux won me over. Warming ice may be the easiest way to find faults but this author points out another and at home. apple trees- the brightness of the new leaves   Rita Odeh (0,2,4) = 8 pts Nothing deep about this one, but it clearly conveys a moment of pure delight. cold front approaching I take a photo of the cherry blossoms Ruth Franke (0,2,4) = 8 pts spring drizzle the dancing fingers at a deaf school   kala ramesh (0,2,4) = 8 pts I like that there is more than one level to this haiku. tiny fists shaking in the wind early buds ruthanne (0,1,6) = 8 pts 7 Points her first tooth under the pillow early spring buds Elena Naskova (0,2,3) = 7 pts In her palm a blue butterfly... the first kiss Constantin Stroe (0,3,1) = 7 pts her daily jogging... slower now, passing each pink magnolia   Zhanna P. Rader (0,2,3) = 7 pts 6 Points third day of rain-- a couple of puddle ducks being themselves   Ami (0,0,6) = 6 pts The rain it raineth every day, or at least it feels that way sometimes. And that's when we might say "Oh, to be a puddle duck!" I like how this sounds out loud -- casual and comfortable, like the ducks. warm sun- mimosa blossoms yielding to green Barbara Campitelli (0,2,2) = 6 pts This is more an early summer kigo but it is a beautiful haiku, as gently written as sunlight upon the mimosa. Good Friday     seed potatoes already sprouted   Ben Gieske (0,0,6) = 6 pts baby coots startled by drifting pollen Bridget Cougar (0,1,4) = 6 pts first spear of asparagus winter is dead   gourdman (0,1,4) = 6 pts blazing over scorched hillsides— spring wildflowers   Melissa Spurr (1,1,1) = 6 pts A haunting juxtaposition for the California fires. Such irony that something so beautiful can blossom from the same land that months earlier was a devastating, horrific disaster. A beautiful but gentle reminder of the trauma that lies just beneath those flowers.  Six very powerful words. leap day -- the old pond abides in stillness Nancy Smith (1,0,3) = 6 pts 5 Points spring equinox      the sweet scent of funeral roses   ed markowski (0,1,3) = 5 pts Beautiful balance:  the heaviness of the funeral, the lightness of fragrance. I can feel them mingle inside me when I read this poem. purple lilacs from grandma- she stifles a sneeze Leslie Montgomery (0,1,3) = 5 pts widow's garden ~ the first weeds of Spring   Paul Hodder (0,0,5) = 5 pts Neglect as a reflection of loss... moving. side street a sleeping policeman halts cherry petals RaV (0,2,1) = 5 pts Lovely picture, and made me smile. I hope that sufficient voters know the English expression "sleeping policeman"! traffic forced to choose - migrating toads   Sara Winteridge (0,1,3) = 5 pts 4 Points Saint Patrick's Day a woodpecker plays drum on an oak tree   Audrey Downey (0,0,4) = 4 pts washed by rain a robin flicks its tail carol pearce-worthington (0,0,4) = 4 pts I trim the heather a bee stumbles onto my hand Harvey Jenkins (0,1,2) = 4 pts potted primroses a motorcycle rips in the distance Jennifer Corpe (0,1,2) = 4 pts blizzard conditions-- a snow-covered robin stops by my window   jill (0,2,0) = 4 pts spring breeze new baby joins in the birds' chirp john tiong chunghoo (0,1,2) = 4 pts a bit brighter after the lullaby... sleepy moon Josh Wikoff (0,1,2) = 4 pts in the church Mozart's Requiem - spring outside Li Ree (0,1,2) = 4 pts frozen river; and suddenly.. gurgling sounds. manoj saranathan (0,2,0) = 4 pts noon bells–– the daffodil knows something Sabine Miller (0,1,2) = 4 pts Green flags wave again... spring Vasile Moldovan (1,0,1) = 4 pts 3 Points songs from a tree the return of the mockingbird   Bill Hudson (0,1,1) = 3 pts late breakfast mourning doves nesting on the windowsill   Bill Kenney (0,0,3) = 3 pts cherry blossoms the footbridge arches into drifts of white Catherine J.S. Lee (0,0,3) = 3 pts March winds blowing through the branches twigs from a new nest   Ella Wagemakers (0,1,1) = 3 pts evening sun leant against the last bag of compost Helen Buckingham (0,1,1) = 3 pts snow melt dodging pot holes and road work signs Judith Gorgone (0,1,1) = 3 pts Nothing says 'early spring' quite like a good Road Work Ahead sign! boat on sands - spring sun bathes on her bottom Lech Szeglowski (0,1,1) = 3 pts at night in the forest -- blossoming mold Michael McClintock (0,0,3) = 3 pts playing on the FM a song half-remembered... spring again sanjuktaa (0,1,1) = 3 pts General Comments: There are so many really good ones this time I had difficulty deciding. Is there any topic/kigo that invites more haiku cliches? But there are a lot of fresh looks at familiar themes among this month's entries. First Place – 27 Points gardenias … a summer dance so long ago Nancy Nitrio (1,7,10) = 27 pts Second Place – 21 Points full moon - so many vines on the banyan tree Judith Gorgone (2,4,7) = 21 pts This is a wonderfully lyrical depiction of aging. Third Place – 18 Points winter beach my rough hands choose the smoother stones   Jan O'Loughlin (0,3,12) = 18 pts I started liking this at "winter beach"... we've all been there... and I can FEEL everything: the rough skin, the smooth cold stones... cold rain a wrinkled hand traces drops on the window   Warren Gossett (0,4,10) = 18 pts 17 Points winter sun… the scent of lemon from old wood Nancy Smith (0,4,9) = 17 pts 16 Points class reunion I introduce myself with each step Jacek M. (2,2,6) = 16 pts I like the deliberate pace of this, in keeping with the mental image. forgetting the way home he sits in a field of flowers w. f. owen (0,2,12) = 16 pts 14 Points remarkable getting smaller every year eye of the needle emile molhuysen (1,2,7) = 14 pts again at the anniversary she unfolds the yellowing letter Leslie Montgomery (0,4,6) = 14 pts 13 Points she looks at her own and recognizes her mother's hands Carmel Lively Westerman (2,3,1) = 13 pts spring evening grandma telling the same story Dorota Pyra (0,3,7) = 13 pts I'm envisioning a circle of rapt young listeners. blue asters... father's eyes no longer know me Irene Golas (1,1,8) = 13 pts birds return . . .     the steady pace of his walking stick   kala ramesh (1,1,8) = 13 pts I love the humor in this and, unfortunately, how easily I can relate to it. 12 Points again he sighs and tells her his name afternoon fog Catherine J.S. Lee (0,3,6) = 12 pts A poignant reminder of memory loss and how difficult it is for everyone involved. face in the mirror a map of my life   Frances McCarthy (2,1,4) = 12 pts 11 Points antique store window... her childhood doll's face   Melissa Spurr (1,2,4) = 11 pts how did I do it-- touching my big toe to my nose? P. O. Williams (0,2,7) = 11 pts Anyone past a 'certain age' has surely asked themselves this question. This made me chuckle. only caramels left in the candy bowl - old-age home Susan Constable (1,1,6) = 11 pts It's sad to think that not many 'young' visitors have come by to eat any either. Very telling! Well done! 10 Points 55th spring   the cardiologist inserts a new balloon   ed markowski (0,3,4) = 10 pts cherry petal my daughter's first shade of lipstick Josh Wikoff (0,1,8) = 10 pts A nice evocation of spring and its transient nature... aging isn't only for the old! sundown dad turns on the light in 1945   Laurene (1,2,3) = 10 pts 8 Points ninety candles on top of it all he makes a wish tom painting (1,2,1) = 8 pts 7 Points visiting time she holds a new tremor Paul Hodder (0,2,3) = 7 pts tugging black gloves over her liver spots another funeral   Pris Campbell (0,1,5) = 7 pts 6 Points my grandfather -- using less and less of his cane Abraham Muuo (0,1,4) = 6 pts A nice image! senior center - with glasses I see I fit right in Alice Frampton (0,0,6) = 6 pts I can see the rueful smile of recognition. just before closing an old man browses the self-help books   Bill Kenney (0,1,4) = 6 pts first gray hair the one secret- in our marriage   D.M. (0,2,2) = 6 pts can't forget to stop worrying can't remember why   Mr. PC (0,1,4) = 6 pts 5 Points my grandmother looking at me closely -- the frown on her face Anne Wairimu (1,0,2) = 5 pts this year kids garden grandma sleeps on the porch swing cats curled on her lap ARW (1,1,0) = 5 pts stiff fingers delete old email addresses dead friends   gourdman (0,1,3) = 5 pts morning sun-- cutting up pop's egg and toast jt (0,0,5) = 5 pts crackling record a smile on my granny's wrinkled face Petar Tchouhov (0,0,5) = 5 pts sunny evening -- my grandmother talking to herself Solomon Kilelu (0,0,5) = 5 pts winter night- melts each moment the candle   vishnu kapoor (1,0,2) = 5 pts 4 Points the old janitor locks the library doors early late winter evening   Bruce Ross (1,0,1) = 4 pts afternoon nap gray strands of hair on the cushion   Ella Wagemakers (0,1,2) = 4 pts dawn half numb half feeling my age   Helen Buckingham (0,1,2) = 4 pts storm damage -- the trees of my youth are growing old Isabelle Prondzynski (1,0,1) = 4 pts how few candles in grandpa's birthday cake – leap year Israel Lopez Balan (0,1,2) = 4 pts another spring; memories of sakura.. grow blurry. manoj saranathan (0,2,0) = 4 pts "1890" -- under the owner's name carved in the oak Michael McClintock (0,1,2) = 4 pts forest stroll the flicker of sunbeams on her wrinkles RaV (0,1,2) = 4 pts my empty check mate dad... the Master can't remember his moves Rose Marie Stutts (0,2,0) = 4 pts octogenarian - the seed he chooses will flower this year   Sara Winteridge (0,1,2) = 4 pts 3 Points holiday politics my brother's frown my father's Ann K. Schwader (0,0,3) = 3 pts new spring- seeing in the mirror a collection of years Barbara Campitelli (0,0,3) = 3 pts a spawned-out salmon     through my reflection...deeper Barbara Snow (1,0,0) = 3 pts winter day she inherits her grandmother's cane Beth Powell (0,0,3) = 3 pts too quickly again the skunk stripe on my head-- time to dye Bridget Cougar (1,0,0) = 3 pts old age-- he trips on rice carol pearce-worthington (1,0,0) = 3 pts afternoon picnic our hair grayer, the rocks harder   Deborah P Kolodji (1,0,0) = 3 pts Aging in an outdoor setting, easy to imagine and feel. my gray beard grandson borrowed my razor Jim Applegate (0,1,1) = 3 pts little moon you are also left alone quite still Jon Baldwin (0,1,1) = 3 pts humming with the 60s protest song a senior citizen Mary Stevens (0,0,3) = 3 pts almond blossoms - an old man squatting near an open cage   Rita Odeh (0,1,1) = 3 pts A poignant story there... for the reader to complete... enough is left unsaid to open all kinds of possibilities! General Comments: A challenging theme, which I have enjoyed, both writing and reading. It was quite hard to write about "ageing", rather than "age" or "old age". A good crop of poems. Thanks to our poets who entered the March kukai and special thanks to our guest poets, Ferris Gilli and Jim Kacian, who lent us their work for the kukai samples! Call for submissions for the April kukai will be announced on Monday, April 7th, 2008. See you then! With much appreciation, Robert Bauer, Secretary Gary Warner, Web Host Participate in the Shiki Monthly Kukai by choosing a link below How it Works Most Recent Results Current Kukai Topics Kukai Archives An explanation of how the kukai functions. The results of our most recent month! Click here to learn about THIS month's kukai. Previous month's results.