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Fourth Place -- 14 Points
first day of school --
the bus slowly taken
by the morning fog
Peter H. Pache
may2003
(1,4,3) = 14
It's an early morning at the end of summer or beginning of fall. It's foggy, and the school bus that took a child is moving slowly away and soon it disappears in the fog. It looks like the fog swallowed the bus. It's a very clear picture in motion. Any mother and grandmother can relate to this haiku. I also like the look of the haiku with the middle line longer than the rest of the lines.
Zhanna P. Rader
Ah the first day of school. For some students it is
the start of a new school year and new adventure. For
many however, it is the end of summer and freedom and
a return to the “smothering” siutation of class room
rules, control and a loss of freedom. The last two
lines really capture this feel of smothering that many
feel in school.
DeVar Dahl
The poignancy of the aha moment is striking. The kigo is plainly September,
the beginning of the school year. The haiku makes not only a statement
about the weather, but links it with a child's foray into the unknown as he
leaves the nest to begin his first day of school. The use of 'the fog' is
highly evocative of a parent's emotional state upon seeing one's child move
away from family into the larger world.
Carole MacRury
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