haikuworld: The Shiki Monthly Kukai (First Annual Results)

The Shiki Monthly Kukai

Haiku Comments -- First Annual Kigo

Seventh Place -- 9 Points

Sunset deepens . . .
blackbirds on the lawn
become the darkness

karma tenzing wangchuk
oct2002
(1,1,4) = 9

I like it how the blackbirds, that you can still see at the deepening sunset, disappear when the last light of the day is gone. It looks like the birds, being black, turned the day into a night. It could also be that some more blackbirds joined, thus turning the whole lawn into darkness.

It's a very poetical way to say that there are blackbirds on the lawn, and the next moment it's dusk and then darkness. The form of the haiku is good too, with 2nd line looking longer than the other two.

Zhanna P. Rader

Evokes the fall of darkness efficiently, with the birds turning into shadows Florence Vilén

Participate in the Shiki Monthly Kukai by choosing a link below
How it Works	Most Recent Results	Current Kukai Topics	Kukai Archives
An explanation of how the kukai functions.	The results of our most recent month!	Click here to learn about THIS month's kukai.	Previous month's results.