Fall 1999 Kukai Judge's Decision Results
William J. Higginson
The judges did not know the author's names during the judging process.
First Selection – Richard von Sturmer
after my father’s death: autumn leaves the color of whiskeyThis haiku comes in as so exactly "right" that one has no questions to ask of it. Whether the whiskey was a factor in the father's life or is a solace to the son or daughter, it makes no difference in the depth of emotion and perception so simply given. As in all good haiku that make use of seasonal topics, this poem uses the already present overtones of the season word generally to sharpen and deepen the specific emotion felt in life. The tone and the personal emotion well match the beauty tinged with regret that underlies our appreciation of the season word "autumn leaves".
Second Selection -- tie – Michaels Goldman
moon waiting evening-- the patting patting steps of a stray dogFor those steeped in haiku tradition, the night before the technical full moon may well be even more exciting than the full moon itself. This, of course, refers to the night before the full moon nearest the equinox in September, the "Harvest Moon". Since the poem says "evening" instead of "night", we may imagine the poet waiting for moonrise. And he has an unexpected companion, a stray dog that both mirrors his mild impatience as he waits for the moon and, more subtly, shows his slight imbalance at this intrusion. This is seen in the apt doubling of the central "patting".
Second Selection – tie – Tom Painting
Veterans Day his soliloquy lengthens the afternoon chillThis poem shows haiku bordering on humorous senryu, or vice versa. Yet, the tone here, for me, more resembles the light touch of haiku. Veterans Day falls at nearly the beginning of winter in the haiku calendar. Indeed, by November 11th afternoons become quite chilly, and sitting or standing outdoors listening to speeches grows tiring more quickly than it did on Memorial Day in May or the 4th of July. I like the skillful enjambment, so that we may read either "lengthens the afternoon chill" or "lengthens; the afternoon chill". In the first case, the chill is made longer by the speech and the speaker. In the second, the speaker goes on longer than expected, and that deepening of time is mirrored in the increasing chill. The line break gives it to us both ways simultaneously. This is one of the few poems I've seen lately where the author gets away with using two season words ("Veterans Day" and "chill"). Here, they augment each other's effects.
Additional Selection -- Robert A. Jenkins
a full moon each window reflects a different lightI found this poem particularly attractive, mainly for the use of the word "light" in a context where one of its less common meanings adds connotations: A "light" is a window, in the terms of architects and builders. Thus, each window actually takes on its own unique character in the poem, which otherwise resembles many others. (I have the strong feeling I've seen or heard this poem somewhere before. Perhaps at a conference?)
Additional Selection -- Jeanne Zastera
frosty morn even the eagle struggles to riseI found this poem very striking; a fresh image and an empathy not unlike that in some of Basho's poems. I wish the opening line had sounded a little less stilted, perhaps something like "a frosty morning".
Additional Selection -- Richard von Sturmer
strangely yellow-- an autumn maple by lamplightThis poem resonated with me, perhaps because of a strong personal association with a large maple at my grandmother's place that turned into a blaze of yellow every fall of my childhood and early adulthood. I used to split wood for the winter under that yellow light, which changed eerily as dusk approached and the lights from my grandmother's windows struck the leaves from below. However, there is a redundancy here, since yellow maple leaves are autumn leaves. And I'd like to see the poem in a different order, perhaps something like this:
the maple strangely yellow by lamplightor
by lamplight strangely yellow the mapleThere were a number of other entries that I enjoyed reading. One fault that knocked quite a few out of top contention was the inclusion of two or even sometimes three season words. As my comments above may help to show, one of the purposes of a haiku is to actualize, to make real a specific experience surrounding one particular season word. Since each season word has its own set of physical and emotional overtones, including more than one usually creates more than one center of interest in a poem, thereby weakening it.